10 Dating Tips I Discovered Too Late

Dating always seemed to be full of false starts, dashed hopes and anguish in my younger days. I could kick myself now that I didn’t make the most of being single, foot-loose and fancy-free and that I wasted so much time and energy on guys that weren’t for me.

But there’s nothing like experience to teach you a lesson or two just like these ten dating tips I wish I’d known long ago.

Have Fun With Dating

It can feel incredibly miserable if you’re looking for Mr. Right and constantly meet one guy after another who isn’t right for you. But don’t let it get you down. It’s just a matter of time until you meet someone you truly click with.

Meanwhile make the most of your dating life. You can have a fun time even with the guys who aren’t right for you if you lighten up about the whole thing. It’s not a do or die situation. It’s just two people spending some time together to see if they want to meet again. I didn’t get this lesson until it was too late, but that doesn’t have to be you.

Pick Your Venue

Instead of sitting through endless dinners or cups of coffee, seek out interesting places to suggest for your dates so that you have more chance of enjoying the date if the conversation is dull. If I could live that time again, I’d never visit another boring bar to meet a man with nothing to say!

Love At Third Sight

You may not have an instant overwhelming physical attraction to Mr. Right. He may very well grow on you if you like his personality and his looks don’t turn you off completely. If you like the guy, agree to more dates until you know for sure. At least there’s a high chance you’ll have a good time with this guy and could make a friend, even if nothing romantic comes from it in the end.

As for me, I didn’t give anyone much chance if there was no instant attraction in my dating days. Luckily I had that attraction with my husband or we may have never got together. I learned this lesson second hand from a couple of friends who got together with guys they weren’t initially attracted to. Attraction and love grew over time and they are now happily married.

Get Out And About

I don’t want to think about the number of miserable Friday and Saturday nights I spent in bars and nightclubs. The best guys are often found in non-traditional hunting grounds so the more you’re out and about the better. See my book 182 Best Places To Meet Guys on Amazon for ideas if you’re stuck – you’ll never be at a loss for where to meet men again.

Don’t Be Shy

It’s no good expecting anyone to notice you if you spend your life not looking people in the eye. A genuine smile and a few words works wonders in getting to know guys you’d like to date. I came out of my shell in my early twenties and wow – what a difference!

Just Because He Asked You Out…

…and you like the look of him, does not mean it’s time to pick out wedding china. Find out if you actually like him before you dream about a second date never mind anything more long term and don’t put up with bad behavior just to have a regular boyfriend. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt before I learned that self-respect means not putting up with crap.

Go It Alone

If you’re always with a posse of girlfriends, it’s much more difficult for a guy to approach you or for you to break away from the group and get know someone. Don’t hunt in packs. You guessed it – I met and first talked to my husband when I was alone!

You Can’t Fix Him

Sometimes a guy will seem like he’s almost right. You think if you could just fix that one little problem he has (like still being besotted with his ex, or fearing any kind of commitment, or massive insecurity and jealousy) you’d get on like a house on fire. But no you can’t fix him so don’t even try. Move on. Believe me, I did try – too many times – but eventually got the message 🙂

You’re Not Too Fat or Too Ugly

No, you’re not too fat or too ugly to get a date or to meet Mr. Right but you are lacking something that helps and that’s confidence. Every guy wants a woman who thinks she’s worth pursuing. Build up your self-esteem and learn to love yourself and you’ll have more success dating. Start by reading the first chunk of my book “You Are Beautiful! 53 Ways To Love Your Imperfect Self” for free on Amazon (see the Look Inside) and work on your self-confidence if that’s an issue with you. I had to get over typical insecurities about how I looked before I got any dates at all!

You Will Find Mr. Right

If only I’d known I’d be meeting my husband at some point in my dating life, I’d have been more relaxed about the whole thing and just enjoyed it. Put all your effort into making a great life for yourself and you’ll find it’s a life that someone special will be happy to share. My life was in a good place and coming together well when I met my husband. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

How about you? Have you found your life partner? What tips would you give your dating self from the past? Please share in the comments below.