He’s hot. You’re going out tonight and you’ve decided that “Tonight Is The Night” or even that “Tonight May Be The Night” and so you want to make sure that everything is perfect for the first time you sleep with him. What should you do to get ready to make sure your hot date is exactly that and not a damp squib?
Think Things Through
Make sure in your own mind that you are not going too fast too soon for you. There’s no need to feel pressurized into anything at any point. It’s entirely up to you, not what your guy wants or your girlfriends think or what they said last week in Cosmopolitan. If you’re thinking you ought to sleep with him rather than that you can’t wait to sleep with him …wait. If it’s early days, and you want a longer term relationship with him, you might be better holding back a bit anyway. (See the article Should You Sleep With Him On The First Date?) But if you’re sure, get ready for full steam ahead!
You don’t need a body like a celebrity (see Body Confidence: How To Feel Sexy) but you can give yourself a shot of confidence by making sure you look at your best when you get naked. Of course, you’ll not forget to take a shower or brush your teeth before your hot date, but there are a few other things to think about:
- Soften your skin with lashings of lotion so you are soft and smooth to the touch – rough skin be gone
- Be delicate with perfume. He wants to be able to breathe when he kisses you. A light spray is good. Better still layer your perfume so it lingers but doesn’t overpower – that just means using shower gel or bath oil, body lotion and then a light touch of perfume in the same range.
- Get rid of the fuzzies. Whether you decide you want to remove hair or not from anywhere or everywhere, that’s fine. It’s a personal choice you make. See Should You Go Bare Down There? But don’t leave a half way house where you have rough stubble – anywhere – because that is going to scrape like a 5 o’ clock shadow. Ouch! Just don’t do anything last minute like waxing that will bring you out in a rash – shaving is your best bet, if you’ve left it until the last minute.
- Beat the bloat. Whether you’re pleasantly plump or skinny, everyone looks better without a stomach swollen by a huge meal of refined carbs. It’s better to eat light and avoid lots of pasta, rice or bread during the day, if you want to look your best in the evening without your clothes. Oh and go easy on the garlic and spicy food while you’re at it.
- Take care of the little things. A little grooming goes a long way to making you look and feel good. Pluck your eyebrows, polish your toe nails and condition and style your hair.
- Apply light makeup. You probably won’t want to remove your makeup before bed and the last thing he wants to wake up to is your face all over the pillow or panda eyes.
Sexy Not Sleazy
Choose your outfit with care. Though you may have seduction in mind, you don’t want him to think you are looking to get paid for the evening. Wear clothes that are appropriate to the venue you are going. Show a little flesh – you don’t want to look “buttoned up” , but forget anything slashed to the navel or a skirt shorter than a belt. Also, body skimming is better than donning a tent or anything so tight it looks like it is painted on.
Save sexy for when he unwraps you. It’s time to get out the beautiful lingerie set you have been saving for a special occasion. This IS that special occasion, so go for it!
Your Place Or His?
If there’s any chance he will be coming back to your place, you need to prepare your home as well as yourself and have it looking its best. To be honest, guys about to go to bed with you don’t care about any level of mess. It’s you who will feel better if you don’t come across as a total slob about the house.
- Tidy up so you don’t actually trip over stuff when you get through the front door. Remember your eyes will hopefully be on each other and not on what obstacles might be in the way between the front door and the couch/bed
- Put away anything you don’t want him to see – like your guide to the perfect relationship, your pile of twenty three outfits you got out trying to find the perfect one for tonight and your facial hair remover cream – if fact you might want to clear the bathroom of most of the beauty products in there, if you want him to think you are naturally gorgeous and didn’t spend five hours getting ready.
- Get rid of any obvious grime – you don’t need to go overboard and ruin your hands with scrubbing floors – just do enough to feel your place looks OK
- Put clean sheets on the bed
If Music Be The Food Of Love…
Cater for both music and food. Think about what music you might want to play when you come in to keep a romantic atmosphere going – nothing too cheesy that might put him off the idea entirely. If you know his taste that will help. If not, choose the music you like that you know guys are generally ok with too. As for food, make sure you have a few things in the fridge in case he stays for a late night snack/breakfast. A bottle of milk that has gone off and a lump of cheese about to go green is not going to help one hot date lead into another. There’s no need to go to town, but stocking up with good coffee, fresh bread, butter, jam and orange juice for breakfast and perhaps a pizza or tortilla chips and dips for a late night snack might help keep him from going hungry (and keep his energy levels high!)
Interested And Interesting
Now you look good and your place is ready but you still have a date to go on before anything major takes place. If you’ve nothing to say then he may as well go out with a cardboard cut out. No worries if you lead an interesting life anyway, you’ll never be lost for words, but if you seem to have been tied up in nothing but work, your job is pretty dull and the date is the most interesting thing you’ve done in ages, make sure you’re up on what is happening in the world in whatever way that interests you – whether it’s world news and current events (you can listen to the radio or TV while you get you and your place ready), music and art, celebrity gossip or the major political debates that are happening. You don’t even have to talk about any of that stuff. He will love to be listened to but it doesn’t harm to have a few things up your sleeve to talk about in case you need them.
Whatever happens on your date, you don’t want to end up with an unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease. It’s not romantic but you can’t ignore the need for protection especially with a new partner. Be safe, and don’t rely on him to have what you need. Make sure you have a supply of condoms in your bag or pocket so there’s no excuse not to use them when the moment comes. Also, it does no harm to keep a taxi fare handy in case at any point you decide you want to go home alone.
If you’re nervous, following the steps here will help increase your confidence – you’ll be looking good, your place will be looking good and you’ll have something to talk about up your sleeve. Other than that, tell yourself you’ll be OK and you’ve done everything you can. And besides there’s something engaging about a few nerves. If you’re worried about your performance in bed, don’t be. Just the fact that you are there and willing gets you in his good books and, if you add enthusiasm to that, then you’ll go far. No one is expecting sexual athletics first time out – and besides, unless he’s some sort of Lothario, he will probably be more concerned about his own performance than about yours.
Try not to leave it to the last minute to get ready so you can take some time to sit back and relax before your date. Scrabbling about in a mad rush can have you getting all red and flustered rather than greeting him with your gorgeous calm collected self. How should you relax? Do whatever usually works for you. It’s probably not the time to try something new. A few deep breaths should help if that’s all you have time for. Read a good book, watch a comedy show – anything. You might like a few sips of wine but don’t go overboard with alcohol, especially if you are going to be drinking later. You don’t want to fall over or pass out before you get to bed.
Enjoy Your Date
Don’t spend the whole date in anticipation of what you will do later. Enjoy the date for its own sake and if it leads the way you want it to, so be it. In any case, you can flirt to your heart’s content not worrying about leading him on – you are intending to follow the flirting through to its conclusion. On the other hand, it has to be said, if you change your mind at any point, don’t feel pressured into sleeping with him. You might find out something on your date that puts you right off him. Usually though you’ll just decide that tonight IS actually the night. You’re ready. Your place is ready. Enjoy!