13 Signs a Long-distance Relationship Will Work

When you start a long-distance relationship you know there will be hurdles to overcome and things to sort out, but will your relationship be worth the trouble or is the physical distance between you a reason to say good bye to your guy?

13 Signs a long distance relationship will workThere was a time when long-distance relationships took even more effort than they do now. They seldom worked out, simply because communication was slow and delayed. Couples had a harder time staying in touch because phone calls were prohibitively expensive. Today, with high speed Internet, flat-rate calls and messages, and multiple ways to voice chat, staying in touch is no longer as difficult as it once was. You can stay close even over a long period of separation and maintain a strong relationship.

How well a long-distance relationship works is now entirely up to the two of you. Don’t listen to those who try to talk you out of it until you’ve considered the pros and cons yourself. What worked or didn’t work for someone else isn’t necessarily going to be your make or break point. Sure, you can learn from others, but if you really love each other, you’ll figure out how to make it work if you want to.

You can’t know for sure if a long-distance relationship will work or not. No one can predict the future. But there are some signs that will help you see if yours is more likely to succeed or not.

1

You know each other well

Some long-distance relationships are born from Internet dating, so clearly there will still be things to learn about each other. However, even if you don’t know each other well, there should be a desire to get to know each other better and communicate well. Often, a long-distance relationship is stronger when you’ve known each other for some time and have spent a fair amount of time together.

2

You trust each other

There’s nothing like jealousy or suspicion to hurt a relationship, even more so when it’s long-distance. You have to be able to trust each other completely as well as be trustworthy. Where there’s love, there’s trust, so that helps, just be aware that it’s easier to become suspicious if you’re further away from each other.

3

You communicate well and often

Most of your contact is likely to be through the Internet or phone. You’ll be chatting, messaging, Skyping, and using other means of communication that are somewhat limited. There will be times when you’ll be without outside means of judging a conversation, such as body language, expression, or even tone of voice. You’ll have to work out how you communicate, be willing to learn the other person’s love language, and not get offended when something is misunderstood.

4

You are willing to make sacrifices

There will be times when you’ll have to forgo going out with friends in order to catch your man online, or he may have to stay up late or wake up early in order to chat with you. Having a relationship over distance means you’re not always on the same time schedule. You may have to save in order to meet up from time to time or give up time doing other things in order to be together.

5

You love each other

If you love each other, you greatly increase your chances of making the relationship work. If you’re not there yet (but you think love could grow) agree to a long-distance relationship for a period of time to see how it works out, rather than pressuring yourselves to commit to something long-term. If love grows, that’s great, if not, you can have an amiable split without hurt feelings.

6

You are both on the same page

It’s important you both know what you expect from the relationship. Have you both agreed not to date anyone else? If one of you thinks you’re in an exclusive long-distance relationship, but the other doesn’t, there will be trouble ahead. Know what you want and make sure you’re both in agreement.

7

You have a time line

It’s good to know at any point when you’ll next be seeing each other again, and if possible, the time frame when you’ll no longer be apart. Having something to look forward to can help to make the separation go faster, and you’ll know if you can wait to discuss important things until you’re face to face. If you plan to “meet when you can” and don’t really know how long you’ll be apart, doubt and loneliness can eat away at the relationship, if not kill it altogether.

8

You share long-term goals

It’s equally important to discuss the future and long-term plans in a long-distance relationship as in any regular relationship. Putting planning and future plans aside during your time apart will weaken the relationship. Talk about what you’ll do once you’re living closer to each other, discuss living together, where you’ll be, and so on. Discussing the future helps cement the relationship even if you’re apart for now.

9

You refuse to give up

Before going into the long-distance scenario, decide you’re not going to call it quits the first time things get difficult. Acknowledge there will be problems to work through and agree to work through them together, whatever they are. You might fight or have some misunderstandings, especially at the beginning, but if you don’t see breaking up as an option, you’ll make it work, come hell or high water. You’ll resolve the issues and make new commitments until you’re both happy again.

10

You’re willing to try new things

Intimacy over long-distance can be tricky, though not impossible. It may mean coming out of your comfort zone. Flirt over texts, tell each other what you’re thinking, and consider virtual make out sessions. Try new ways of communication too. Send letters rather than emails or leave voice messages when you can’t meet up online. Venture outside what you think you know and try new ways to keep the spice in the relationship.

11

You focus on the positive

During the times you do have together, whether you’re meeting up virtually or for real, focus on the positives. Realize that your time together is precious, so focus on the good. Yes, you’ll feel lonely, there will be times when you miss each other incredibly. But constantly focusing on that will only make you feel sad. Stay busy and then you’ll have lots to talk about when you have the chance. Be sure to say ‘I love you’ often and also to acknowledge how good it is to be with the person you love, even if it’s over a distance for now.

12

You keep a level head

Getting suspicious over every little thing won’t help with a long-distance relationship. There will be times when one or both of you have trouble getting in touch. Internet issues or busy periods at work may throw a spanner in the works. Making assumptions that the other person is upset or avoiding you only serve to make things tense between you. Agree to be upfront when something is wrong and to never assume something is up unless the other says it is.

13

You’re willing to make the effort

You have to understand from the beginning that it will be work to maintain a long-distance relationship. A lot of effort will go into communication. You’ll need to work on your schedules so that you can meet up online. If you’re both willing to put in the hard work, you’ll have more chance of the relationship working out. If you go into it thinking you’ll just wing it or hope for the best, things are more likely to fall apart.

Over to you: Have you ever had (or are you in) a long-distance relationship? What do you think make the difference between a love that lasts and one that doesn’t go the distance? Please share in the comments below.

4 Responses to “13 Signs a Long-distance Relationship Will Work”

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  1. Dawood says:

    Me and my girl 21 yrs of age are in a long distance relationship.weve been together for almost a year now.I have a problem about her visiting me.in the past year she visited 5 times for 3 days.I live alone and she with her parents.She says they have a problem with her coming to visit me because they think we sleep together in one bed.she asked several times to visit then her father just say something like ” again”.She says her parents believes is that a women dont go running after a man and coz of the idea they have that we are sleeping in one bed.so she promised 2016 she is going to study at a college closer to me just to cancel it 2 months before she was suppose to come closer to me.she say she want to work so she dont have to ask her parents for money.I understand that but hrre i am visiting 2 to 3 times a month to see her because i miss her allot.some months i dont have food coz ive spent too much money on traveling to her.the one time we were apart for a month and she had money and did not even surgest to help me so we can see each other,instead she did her hair.when i do go to her she dont worry about time spent.i would hug her and tell her i missed her and just want to hold her in my arms and talk to her about stuff and just be loving towards each other then she tels me.why dont we just lie still next to each other and she says shes not the romantic type.we have a sexual relationship.when i visit say after two weeks i want to do it with her atleast once or twise on a weekend.I believe that brings us closer together.she is very secretive.she dont tell me about when she and her friends is planning to go out…she just tells me the morning before she leaves or the night before even thow they planned it a week in advance.one time her couzin gave her number away to a guy and he tried her and talked stuff like he really likes her and why me.so she gave him a shy face.that bbmcantwatch face icon.dono what that mean but would like to know.she never told me about this guy and he once was considered as a friend but he is not my friend anymore and she just kept it from me and one morning i suprised her.she went into the toilet i was standing in her room and saw the chat open on her phone.and i confronted her and she just said shes sorry.one last thing.she sumply can not keep a promise.all the promises she made she breakes it and sayshe sorry but she changed her mind or she forgets.i know this sounds like im badmouthing her but im not.this really happens.now she says she never does something right when it comes to me but i always remind her i love you.i appreciate how u care and listern to me when im sad or upset and i try to return the favour.but i would just like to know do you think ita worthit? Please.because the way it looks to me shes not comitted and im 27 i dont want to waste my time anymore.i want to settle and have a family in say 5 years and be a father to my kids and husband to my wife.i dont have time for such nonsens anymore.please help me.DO U REALLY THINK IT WILL WORK COS IT DOESNT LOOK LIKE SHES WILLING TO CHANGE.

    Regards

    DAWOOD

    • Ana says:

      It’s hard to say anything about a relationship only knowing one side of the story so I may be completely wrong but it seems to me that you are more in love with her than she is with you but that she likes the idea of you being in love with her so she strings you along to keep you hoping. It’s just the impression I get from your words.

      It’s easy for me to say and hard for you to do if you are in love with her but I would say “enough is enough” and break up with her because this situation i snot making you happy. Find a girl who loves you and wants to be with you because it sounds like you have a lot of love to give and there’s someone out there (probably living in the same area as you) who will appreciate that.
      Ana recently posted…Should You Use Mobile Dating Apps?

  2. Pat says:

    I can only speak based on my own experience, I am in a very long distance relationship for nearly 2 years, we are both about the same age, both coming from messy split-ups, both with 2 kids. We didn’t meet on any online dating service, but on a very safe virtual environment. We became friends and used to text chat on skype along the day. One thing led to the other and after a month or so we were together. One thing I read on the article above is keep communication, say “I love you” often, and in our case, I make sure I never forget to say it either thru text or voice, which is much better, you can feel the other part’s state of mind by listening. I think we are 100% within the 13 points mentioned. Trust, love and commitment are not issues to us: we trust each other, we love each other and, even though we weren’t able to actually meet, I believe there is no jealousy or suspicion in our relationship, we keep in touch any time our jobs allow us to and this way we stay in each other’s routine and feel part of each other’s lives.
    It’s been a real challenge to make the actual face-to-face meeting happen, but I am sure both of us are focused on that. I know a couple of cases of successful long distance relationships that succeeded, including my own sister.

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