When you’re first in love, you probably don’t need reminders or tips to make your guy feel special. You naturally spoil him, and give him all your attention. But over time, it’s all too easy to take your guy for granted and get wrapped up in other things, especially if you are busy with career and/or kids. Sure, you still love your guy. You think he knows that, but do you really show him?
The big danger here is that, if you don’t make him feel special, some other woman will. The less loved he feels, the more vulnerable your relationship becomes. Don’t ever let him feel unloved.
Making him feel special is not that difficult. You don’t have to get him big, expensive gifts or even go over the top with your expressions of love. Instead, there are many small ways you can show your man regularly how much you love him. He’ll feel special without you having to make much effort, if you follow these simple steps.
Tell Him You Love Him
By saying the words, you’re reminding him how important he is to you. It’ll make him feel special every time just because he knows you’re telling him something that you’re not saying to any other man.
Boost His Ego
Praise his accomplishments and the things he does that you like. Always be on the lookout for ways to give him a boost – when he looks sexy, when he does something for you around the house, when he’s good with the kids or your mother – anything. Everyone likes sincere compliments and praise.
Never Put Him Down
One of the biggest ego killers for a man is being put down, especially around others. Find constructive ways to tell him things you’d like him to change (if it’s important to you) but include praise of the things he does well too rather than focusing only the problem. Once you’ve mentioned your request, don’t use the subject for jokes, sarcasm, and put-downs.
Let Him Know He’s Needed
A man feels most secure in a relationship where he’s needed in a variety of ways—let him fix things, lift things, move things, and come to him for advice and counsel on things you don’t know much about. I know just where to go when technology has me stumped! It’s good to be independent and know your own mind, but balance that with giving him the opportunity to be there for you.
Be Clear That You’re His
It’s not a good idea to play games with your man by trying to make him jealous. Doing this is playing with fire. Make it clear that he’s your man and you only have eyes for him. Feeling secure is one of the best ways to feel loved, and if he doesn’t have to worry about your games, he’ll know you love him.
Be His Partner
If you have a strong character make sure you don’t treat your guy like a child (see Are You His Mother Or His Lover) For a successful and long-lasting relationship with your man, you want to be his partner and never his mother. And if you step back and let him be in charge too sometimes, then that will make him feel special too.
Tell Him You Miss Him
Men, like women, need to feel they are missed when they’re not around. They don’t want to hear it constantly or in a demanding, possessive sort of way, but they do want to hear it. Think of creative ways to let him know you’re missing him. Leave notes in his luggage for him to find when he’s away. Tell him what you’re doing and add that you wish he was there to enjoy it with you, then let him know you’ll be right there waiting for him when he gets back.
Be Sexual With Him
Men react to sex; they need it, they want it, and they feel special if their woman is generous in the bedroom. Don’t use sex as a motivation, punishment, or weapon with him. Feel confident in your sexuality and be willing to engage in loving sex regularly.
Tell Him You Want Him
There’s something that really gets a man going, and that is to know that he’s wanted. This isn’t just about wanting him to be there when you’re sad, or wanting him to fix something around the house. This is also about wanting him sexually. Don’t hold back from telling him how much you enjoy his company, his body, the way he makes love to you. Desiring him will make him want to be with you, and lets him know just how special you think he is. If you’re not sure how to let him know you want him, see How To Initiate Sex With Your Man
Wear Sexy Lingerie
Most men are highly visual, so when you wear lingerie just for him, he’s bound to feel very special. It doesn’t take much effort and it’s a clear signal you want him. You are doing something nice for his pleasure (and hopefully you’ll enjoy it too!) and if you know what colors, materials, styles he likes, so much the better – if not ask! If you worry that sexy lingerie is only for the thin and dainty, you’re wrong. See Body Confidence: How To Feel Sexy
Indulge His Fantasies
Find out what his fantasies are and make them happen. Once you discover there is something he’d like to try, an outfit he finds very sexy, or a place he’s dreaming of making love in, try to make it happen for him. Take your time, plan it, and if you can surprise him with it, even better.
Try New Things
Making love the same way can get kind of tired and boring after a while. Be open to trying the new places, positions, props, etc your man suggests (or suggest a few of your own). If you don’t like the idea of something he asks for, remember you might like it more than think, if you are open to giving it a go (and he’ll love that you tried). But if it’s really not your thing, suggest something else so that you don’t reject him outright. Whatever you do, don’t judge his request, and put him down for it, just because it’s not for you. Keep communication about sex as open and honest as communication about anything else, to keep your relationship healthy.
Now and again, pull out all the stops to let him know just how special he is. Give him a full massage with oils and relaxing music. Draw him a hot bath and let him soak after a long week. Massage his feet while you watch a movie together. Get him a gift card for a spa. Prepare his favorite meal with all the trimmings and his favorite beverage. Let him know he’s special by letting him be the one to relax, while you do all the work getting him there. (and hope he reciprocates at some point!)
Look Your Best
Good grooming tells your man that he’s special enough to you that you’re willing to make the effort. Long toe-nails scratch, dry hands feel like sandpaper, and a sweaty smell is unpleasant. Make time to stay groomed for the man you love. This isn’t about spending hours in the bathroom and constantly checking yourself in the mirror. It’s about looking after the details, so that he’ll enjoy being with and looking at you. Shave your legs, do your hair, and wear a bit of makeup if needed. And perform all those grooming tasks while he’s not around, so that all he sees is the finished product; it’s much more of a turn-on that way.
Take Care Of Yourself
This may seem out of place in a list of things to do for your man, but think about it for a moment. If you’re stressed, tired, frazzled, and constantly giving, you won’t have it in you to be there for him when he needs you. He likes caring for you, but he wants you to take care of yourself as well. Make sure you’re sleeping enough, getting some exercise and taking time to relax and charge your batteries so you’re in the mood when he wants to make out or take you on a date. If time is short, then drop some of your other obligations rather than having less time for you and him (see Make Time For Sex for ideas)
Do Things He Likes
While men and women often have different likes when it comes to hobbies, movies, and places to go, be open to doing some of the things he likes now and again. If he knows there’s something you’re not crazy about, but do anyway, he’ll be thrilled to have you by his side, as long as you don’t spend the whole time griping. Do your best to learn the game, enjoy the ride, or get lost in the movie. You might find you enjoy it more than you think you will.
Pay attention to your guy’s preferences. Was there a certain meal you made that he enjoyed? What are his favorite types of movies, music, and drinks. By knowing what he likes, you show him you care and you can pull out a favorite of his when he needs it.
Learn About Him
Find out what he does at work, so that you can chat about his day and have some idea what he’s talking about. Learn a bit about his coworkers, his areas of expertise, and what the main issues are with his job. The same goes for his hobbies, the sports he likes to play and watch and anything else he does for fun. Find out about his early years, his friends and family too, so you understand him like no one else can.
Listen To Him
Men don’t talk much or often about their feelings and emotions. So when he does, (in fact if you get him to communicate at all!) listen! Don’t just carry on with what you are doing or spend the time he’s talking, thinking about your response, or about all the things you still have to get done. Really listen and don’t interrupt. If he knows you’ll listen, he’ll feel more like sharing intimate things with you. Ask questions to keep the conversation going, and enter in all the way, even if it’s on a subject you’re not entirely familiar with or crazy about.
Laugh At His Jokes
Laughing at your man’s jokes will make him feel good. Don’t force it, but also don’t get so used to his humor that you can’t even muster up a giggle. Laughing when he’s funny will let him know that you’re listening and that you enjoy his company.
Let The Little Things Go
Love him enough to overlook his little faults and don’t spoil a good relationship by nagging. Constantly picking on the little things he does that annoy you, will not get you anywhere. You’ll still be annoyed, and he still won’t remember to pick up his socks or whatever else you’re griping about. Sure you can mention it in passing with dry wit and a smile, but it’s far better to remove the socks yourself, if you’re the one that wants them in the laundry basket, than to be constantly nagging at him. If he doesn’t do anything around the house that’s a different thing. That needs a one-to-one discussion, but let the little things drop that don’t really matter, and you’ll both enjoy a happier relationship.
OVER TO YOU: What do you do to make your guy feel loved? Do you agree with all these tips? Should a woman go out of her way to make her guy feel special? PLEASE COMMENT BELOW IF YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE