3 Minute Miracle To Keep Your Marriage Alive

It doesn’t matter how frantic your life, you need to give some time to your partner if you want a marriage that rocks. If you have no time at all for your guy (or he has no time for you) then that is really saying something about the state of your relationship.

3 Minute Miracle To Keep Your Marriage AliveTo be fair, it’s easy to slip into a routine in marriage, where you don’t spend time on your relationship every day. You take your guy for granted, because everything else is pulling you in every direction. But that is a dangerous state of affairs to get into.

Strong couples give each other attention. They show they care. They communicate. And, you can’t afford not to do that for very long, if you want your love to survive. It doesn’t have to take a lot of time every day to keep the spark going, if you feel that you are under pressure. But if you give each other no time at all, the fire can easily go out of your marriage.

So what do you need to do to keep that spark alive?

Ideally you will spend a lot of time with your partner, enjoying your life together. But when the chips are down and you feel under pressure by all that life demands, all it takes to keep your marriage alive is a minute or so at three touch points during the course of every day – moments when you give your partner your full attention.

These touch points are:

  • first thing in the morning
  • getting together after a day apart
  • last thing at night

 

1

In The Morning

Bare Minimum Minute

Waking up together is a good start, but that might not be possible, if one of you gets up before the other. If you do wake up together, spend a moment having a hug and greeting your partner before you do anything else. If you don’t wake up about the same time, make sure you have that hug before you or he leaves for the day, or when you are finally both awake. If you’re the first one up, greeting your guy with a cup of coffee or tea is nice gesture to show you care, if he likes that.

Best Case Scenario

You wake up together and snuggle up, which leads to you getting more intimate, until one of you realizes you are going to be late for work…If this is likely to happen, it’s worth setting the alarm a bit earlier than usual, for the extra spark that will add to your marriage.

What Can Go Wrong

  • You wake up in a foul mood because you got to bed too late and take it out on your guy.
  • You set the alarm too late and leave so little time to get ready for work/get the kids off to school that you rush about and leave the house without thinking about your guy.
  • You get engrossed in the morning news on TV as you clear up the breakfast things and prepare for the day, and grunt when your guy leaves.

 

2

When You Get Together Again

Bare Minimum Minute

If you are the one home first, take a moment to stop what you are doing and ask your guy about his day when he comes in, then really listen so he knows he is being heard. If he is home before you, get him to stop what he is doing and give him a big hug, then ask him about his day.

Best Case Scenario

If you can, spend a bit of time together when you first come in, enjoying coffee or a drink, talking about your day together, instead of rushing about cooking or dealing with the mail or whatever. If you need to get on with dinner, cook together and chat while you cook.

What Can Go Wrong

  • You barely look up from what you are doing when he comes in. You say hello but look bored when he tells you what happened today. (Or he does that to you).
  • You have a good moan at him every night about everything that happened during the day so that he doesn’t look forward to asking you about your day. (See: Are You A Radiator Or A Drain? for tips on being more positive in your relationship)
  • You are so frazzled getting dinner or dealing with the kids that you have no time for your guy at all.

 

3

Last Thing At Night

Bare Minimum Minute

It’s important for the two of you to go to bed at the same time most days, so that you can spend some time together alone at the end of the day without too many distractions. As a minimum, even if you are ready to sleep as soon as your head touches the pillow, hug and kiss your guy good night before you turn off the light. If for some reason, one of you goes to bed first, make sure you have that hug and kiss before that point.

Best Case Scenario

You get between the sheets together, hug, chat and kiss a little and see what brews. (Try sleeping naked if you want something to brew more often).

What Can Go Wrong

  • One of you always seems to go to bed later than the other and spends the time watching TV, reading or surfing the net leaving the other to fall asleep alone.
  • You have TV in the bedroom, so any chance of an intimate moment is lost.
  • One of you has a problem sleeping, you decide on separate bedrooms, even temporarily  – it’s the beginning of the end

 

What If You Are Apart?

If you have a long distance relationship, or if one of you works through the night, so you can’t get together for those important moments during day, then you need an alternative. You simply have to make up for the lack of touch points during the normal course of a day. You can do this by being extra loving when you are together and by texting/calling at the usual touch points, if you are able to do that.

What If You Are Willing, But Your Guy Hasn’t Got The Message?

Make sure you are doing what you can at those three points in the day to show your love and attention. If your guy doesn’t follow your lead, remember you can’t make him, but you can ask for what you want. Communication is key. Let him know how important it is to you that the two of you touch base at these times.

If You Have Just 3 Seconds…

Look into your guy’s eyes, say “I love you” and mean it!

When do you get together with your guy to let him know you care? Do you think this kind of connection three times a day makes a difference?

2 Responses to “3 Minute Miracle To Keep Your Marriage Alive”

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  1. Hi Ana.

    Stopping in from the A to Z Blogging Challenge. Thanks for dropping by my site. Hope you found some useful information about romantic date night ideas while there.

    I really enjoyed your article. I loved the idea of the three touch points each day. It is all too common to get busy and just let that feeling overwhelm you for the rest of the day. I try to make a conscientious effort several times during the day to give my spouse a few minutes of my attention. It may just be a touch here and there, or a spontaneous kiss or “I Love You,” or just stopping what I am doing and stepping outside to the garden and asking him a question about some outdoor project he is working on. He definitely seems to appreciate it. I think it boils down to just making it a priority to give your spouse or partner a few minutes of your time and attention each and every day.

    Good luck with the blog challenge!
    Rechelle

    • Ana says:

      Thanks Rechelle. I do the same thing and it seems to work for us too. I can’t say it’s a conscientious effort. It just seems like the natural thing to do, but if it doesn’t just happen those three touch points will really help I think.

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