Although a huge percentage of people find their partner on an Internet dating site, online dating is not all wine and roses.
If you are considering joining a dating site, you should be aware of the complaints women typically have about online dating so that you are not unduly put off as soon as you start.
You may be lucky and not have any of these problems, but chances are high that you will not be one of the lucky ones. Just persevere and don’t let these things put you off, and you are more likely to have success in your dating venture. Good guys are on there. You just have to unearth them!
Here are the biggest complaints women have.
Men Don’t Look Like Their Picture
While looks aren’t the most important part of starting a relationship, meeting someone who is nothing like his profile picture can be very disappointing. The clearer the picture the less likely it is to be a fake but some guys post pictures taken some time ago when they were much fitter and had hair. Don’t ever fall in love with a picture or profile. Wait until you meet the guy in person.
Being Matched With The Wrong Person
While this happens less on paid sites, there are times when people get matched with someone who doesn’t fit their profile. Age, religion, smokers, etc often get mixed up, so doing a quick check before responding can help. It may also occur because some men don’t fill out the form completely or truthfully, so expect that there could be some matches that don’t fit your profile. This can seem like a waste of time and it is certainly frustrating. On the other hand, when you meet someone in a “regular” dating environment, you’re going to have to find all that out as well. It’s just when you join a dating site, you expect to have the matches made for you.
Waiting for messages can be discouraging. If you have no contacts for more than a few days, think about whether that your profile needs some work. Do you have a good picture of yourself up? Are your expectations realistic about the type of men you want to meet? You can also write and contact men on the site which can help you get dates. You don’t have to wait.
Too Many Messages
The opposite is also true. You might feel swamped with emails, often from the same person. Some men can really come across as desperate, letting you know over and over how much they’d like to talk to you, get to know you, etc. Sometimes one man won’t let up, even if you’re clearly not interested. Also, when you’re new on a site, you might get a lot of “empty” emails, which are just flirtations or obvious messages that are written to everyone with a copy/paste, and it’s so obvious. Try to find a way to filter those messages and when you see a lot of messages from one man, just ignore or block them.
Men sometimes take liberties they wouldn’t take in real life. Calling you pet names in the first email, sending lurid pictures of themselves, talking about how sexy you look, or other comments that make you feel uncomfortable are quite common. Remember, you have no obligation to respond. Simply block or even report him if messages are vulgar or creepy. Don’t get mad if a man asks for sex when you’ve let him know you don’t think you’re a good match. Just write him off and cut all contact.
Not Taking Rejection Well
There are the plain rude men who don’t like being told no. If you decide not to continue communication or let him know he’s not a good match, you might get horrible responses. Some of the comments made include calling women vulgar names, saying the woman looks ugly and will never get a date, “didn’t want to date you anyway”, etc. Don’t take these personally. Those men are insecure and can’t handle that not every woman is falling at their feet. You need to develop a tough skin and just brush these kinds of comments off. Report the person if he’s vulgar or mean-spirited as a favor to other women.
Many men will say what they think women want to hear without really taking the time to find out what it is women really want, and you’ll hear the same old, tired phrases over and over again, which can come across as him not being bothered to make the effort to get to know you. You’ll have to see for yourself if he’s just not all that great at expressing himself, or if he really doesn’t have a clue when it comes to women. That’s if you haven’t fallen asleep as soon as you opened his message.
Just as in the real world, not everyone online is looking for a meaningful relationship. Some guys have figured out how to make a woman feel wonderful, but they are looking for nothing more than sex. It’s not always easy to spot these men, but, as in real-world dating, you’ll have to learn to roll with the punches and realize that life goes on; the right one is out there for you.
You may find someone you’re interested in and then it turns out he’s still married or in a relationship. He might have excuses that he’s planning on breaking up, or he may have kept his profile up despite seeing someone. He may be just out “fishing” to see if there’s something better out there. Look for the signs early on to check his availability. See this article for some clues.
Lack Of Romance
Many women enjoy the wooing process. They like when a man offers to buy her a drink, asks for her number, and buys her flowers on the first date. Online dating can feel like applying for a job sometimes. While most men can still be charming on a first date, some of them are still in interview mode with a lot of questions and little in the way of romance or flirting. Accept it for what it is, because if you start to get on, the romance comes later!
Too Much Pressure
Because you met on a dating site you both might feel some pressure to make the date work and create a relationship after a very short amount of time. It’s as if you can’t slowly get to know each other as you might in a real-life situation.
Try to take the pressure off a bit and have fun with it. Line up several dates so that you have more options. Don’t hang all your hopes on one man and make sure he hasn’t hung all his hopes on you, either. See if you can meet more informally the first time, maybe for coffee or lunch. This relaxed date idea also works well in weeding out men who are looking for a one-night-stand, and those who haven’t been honest in their profile.
Over to you: What (if anything) do you dislike about online dating? Have you had friends complain to you about it? Please share in the comments below
I would agree with the points you have jotted down.
Online dating is a tough task and need to be handled pretty carefully.
Anmol Rawat recently posted…Quintet of Radiance Award
Thanks for your comment Anmol. Online dating certainly seems tough sometimes, and you have to be in the right frame of mind to tackle it.
Ana recently posted…Three Things Late
I haven’t ever used online dating because I’m very uncomfortable with the idea of doing something only to find a man. I went to one singles weekend a few years before I was married (now divorced). Everyone knew what they were there for and that weirded me out. Not to say that I won’t try online dating in the future – it is what today’s woman does – but at the same time, I’m not sure that it fits my personality. Time will tell and I appreciate your posts and your website, Ana.
Margit Crane ( recently posted…I Am Not a Rebel
Thanks for sharing Margit. I think that’s what many people hate about singles events and online dating – but at least the participants are all in the same boat. Having said that, there are plenty of other places to find love if online dating is not for you.
Ana recently posted…Four Signs A Guy Is Attracted To You
Dating these days has a lot of challenges doesn’t it?! I’m sure your tips will help a lot people! Some people become so worried about meeting someone they don’t enjoy their life anymore.
Katharine Godbey recently posted…How Important Is Your Online Presence?
I think dating has always had its challenges Katharine but now there are new ones no one ever had to think about before 🙂 The important thing for anyone who is single is to have a life first that someone would want to be part of before trying to meet someone – no one wants to be just a plug that fills the gap in someone’s life. Thanks for your comment.
Ana recently posted…Celebrate International Kissing Day
Ana, Ana, Ana! This is a biggie! That was a pond I splashed around in for 10 years! It wasn’t even International Kissing Day and my lips were all blistered from kissing all those frogs … All of these complaints are valid and I could probably add a few more (like not being totally honest …), but I have two things to say: 1) Sadly all these complaints can relate to some women I know as well … and 2) YES, there are good men out there – good, wholesome, kind and loving men, who want what we want and are available.
Big HUGS <3 (and yes, one of the frogs was indeed a prince.
Thanks for sharing Judy. I’m so pleased you met your prince – no one knows when that will occur and that’s why it’s important not to give up at the first sign of trouble. There are dating troubles to be found in both online and offline situations. I agree that many of these complaints apply to women too. I’m sure there are guys out there writing blog posts warning about us too 🙂
Ana recently posted…Fourth Step To A Great Relationship
I’ve never tried online dating but I’ve had friends who used it, both successfully and unsuccessfully. A lot of your points are things that they talked to me about too!
Salma recently posted…Iced Green Tea
Thanks for your comment Salma. It seems to me that the successful ones are those who can get over the bad things about online dating and just make the most of the advantages of it.
Ana recently posted…A Perfect Wedding?