If things have become humdrum between the sheets, it’s usually because you’ve forgotten what excited you about your man when you first met. There will be many things about him that made you want to bed him and wed him – or just bed him!
Why were you attracted to him in the early days? It might be something tiny like the way he looked at you, the way he said your name, the very smell of him or how his strong arms held you close. It might be the fun you had together and the excitement of getting to know each other as well as the realization that he wanted you and the effect you were having on him.
You have probably both changed a bit since then, especially if a number of years have gone by. No doubt, you are taking each other for granted, if nothing else. But if you can rekindle those early feelings then it can go some way to helping reignite the spark even if you are not quite the young couple madly in love that you were.
So how do you go about doing that?
One way is to remember the good times and take yourself back in your mind to exactly how you felt about your partner then. You can do this alone, but it’s much more powerful if you do it together – after all, if you’re in a rut, it’s affecting both of you, and if you both spend time rekindling these feelings, it can be pretty powerful.
Here are some ways to go down memory lane:-
Start a few conversations with “Do You Remember When…”
You can talk about holidays you had together, the day your kids were born, your first home together, your first date, parties you had or went to. Happy experiences are good, but remembering any strife you went through together (of the you against the world variety) helps cement the relationship too. Just don’t start talking about any strife that one of you caused!
Some of the best conversations to reignite the spark are talking about the best sex you ever had. It might just be enough of a memory to make you want to say, “Shall we try that again?” If you can’t remember any hot sexual moments like that, it’s time to make some. And that’s another conversation to have – planning how to do that!
Get Out The Albums
Photos are a great way to remember how things used to be so that you can reignite your spark today. Cozy up together on the sofa with a drink and the albums or boxes full of photos. Laugh about old times and remember how attracted you were to your partner, how you couldn’t keep you hands off him and how much fun that was.
Music from around the time you first met or that you played at significant times in your relationship can propel you back in time and help you fall in love all over again. Play “your song” and hold your man tight or dance with him to rekindle powerful feelings.
See the other articles in this series here: How To Bring The Spark Back Into A Relationship.
Try some of those activities you used to do on dates when you first met – whether that was going to a game, out to dinner or bowling. Hire the old movies you saw when you first dated and watch them together making out on the sofa. Wear the same scent if you can. If not the same clothes, take the same trouble to get dressed up for these “dates” again. Find all the ways you can to reconnect with the good times.
When you jog your memory in these ways you will naturally start to think about why you fell in love and all the things you admired about your partner. Think about what is still true today that you have just forgotten or started to take for granted. (If there’s nothing left, you have bigger problems unless he has changed in some way for the better!) Seeing your partner with fresh eyes, especially with those of one newly in love, will help you appreciate your man and boost your love life.
I’m also a big fan of remembering some old laughs, or inside jokes from when we were younger! My husband and I will celebrate our 19th anniversary on Tuesday of next week so we have LOTS of funny old stories to share again and again. Thanks for sharing this post on the Ladies Only Blog Share!
Angela recently posted…Ladies Only Blog Share Link Party: Remember When
Congratulations on 19 years Angela – plenty of memories there 🙂 I’m trying to make sure we create some new ones every month or so with a weekend away here, a memorable visit there, otherwise one year blends into the next – happy but not very memorable. When I’m an old lady, I want to look back with a big grin on my face.
I’ve been married 21 years in a couple of months and we dated 3 years before we got married, so I’ve been with my husband longer than I haven’t been with him at this point. One of the reasons I fell in love with him because he’s a kind hearted generous soul. Back in our college days, he was a lot more outgoing than me and we have a lot of funny memories because of his “enjoy life” spirit. It would be fun to get out the box of college photos!
Michelle recently posted…How To Grow Your Blog by Building a Tribe of Online Friends
We have four boxes of photos full of memories too…I just wonder what will happen in the future when photos get lost on Facebook or camera phones. I don’t think we’ve printed anything out recently. Must do something about that…