Some potential partners are dangerous.
None of us think it will happen to us. But the most intelligent, brightest, smartest women on the planet have been in love with someone who was not good for them, and then wondered if it was their fault that the relationship did not work.
Don’t go into any new relationship like a lamb to the slaughter and fall in love too quickly with a guy who sweeps you off your feet. He might be the best thing that ever happens to you, but then again he could be the worst.
I’m writing this in the hope that the women who need it most will read it, but that may be wishful thinking. The ones who need it probably aren’t reading this post, because they are too much “in love” to even think about seeing the signs until it’s too late.
But if I stop one woman from getting into a bad relationship or it makes those who read this more careful in the future, and they add these signs to their list of dating dangers to watch out for, I think this post has been well worth writing.
The problem is we love romance, and the most dangerous guys are often the best at providing it. They don’t follow the rules. They are not cautious like other guys. They make wild impulsive gestures, give you presents and flowers and declare themselves early. You can’t believe you have such a catch. They provide an incredible high especially at the start of a relationship. They tell you that they’ve never met anyone like you.
While these heady romantic encounters are going on, you ignore any little character faults that show up because you’re having such a good time, and you don’t want to spoil this good thing you have going on between you. By the time the cracks begin to show, you are well and truly in his clutches, and you can hardly think straight to get yourself out.
What signs should you be looking for?
Note: these signs may be absent during the first few dates when he is on his best behavior, but they will slip out over time. He can’t keep his true nature under wraps forever.
He Has A Bad Temper
He’s often angry at everyday petty annoyances that happen to anyone. He’s rude to waiting staff and he has no patience when he has to wait. You may even see the signs of road rage.
Of course, he’s never angry at you. After all, he’s in love with you, so you feel safe, but it’s only a matter of time before he takes his bad temper out on you. Don’t get me wrong, he may never hit you and become violent, but you’re sure to feel the force of his rage in harsh words at some point.
He Bad Mouths His Ex
He hasn’t got a good word to say about his ex. She’s a bitch, a slut, mad, crazy, stupid or ungrateful. His stories all put him in a good light and make her seem crazy. But relationships are never that black and white, and remember, he was as much in love with this woman in the beginning as he is with you now.
He Is Proud Of Being Bad
He boasts about doing crazy things, being a tyrant at the office or beating someone up. He has no respect for authority and makes a point of letting you know he’s above the rules and standards of good behavior that others comply with.
He Is Arrogant
His confidence is one of the things which attract you to him but he is so full of himself, he has no humility at all. He is never wrong and dismisses any attempt you make to talk him round to a different point of view. He may sneer at others and see them as weak and unworthy of attention.
He Protests Too Much
If he’s not actually boasting about being above authority, he might declare that he would never do this bad thing or that, like beat a woman, carry a knife or get blind drunk and stay out all night, when the thought that he might do such a thing had never crossed your mind.
He Is Overly Jealous
He is insanely jealous when you have given him no cause to be. He may threaten other guys who look at you in passing or just make menacing remarks about them to you.
He Tries To Cut You Off
He criticizes your friends and family and tells you why they are bad for you, why you should not see them and monopolizes all your time so you hardly have a chance to see them. He sulks when you’re enjoying some interest without him so that your life outside his influence contracts. He claims that it’s much nicer when it’s just the two of you. And indeed, it is great being with him at this stage, so you may go along with all that togetherness.
He Has No True Friends
His “friends” are often no more than acquaintances or you get the drift the few good friends he does have are not quite in tune with him and his ideas. They may seem to throw you sympathetic looks because they have seen how their friend’s romances typically pan out.
You’re enjoying the excitement and romance of being with this new guy who treats you like someone precious. Who could resist being swept off her feet by this gorgeous guy, full of confidence and grand gestures, who will thrill you with interesting dates and generous gifts? But then…
He Starts To Criticize You
He’s all sweetness and light in the beginning, making you feel beautiful and special, but over time he starts to wear you down with criticism under the guise that it’s in your own best interests that he’s honest with you because he cares for you so much. Suddenly he’s telling you that you can’t wear that dress because it makes you look fat or that your taste in books and movies is stupid. You love him, so you start to believe him.
He Blows Hot And Cold
When he goes too far and you start to pull back and worry about your relationship, he turns on the charm big style with a grand gesture, like whisking you away to Paris or he buys you a big present and apologizes with some plausible excuse that makes nothing his fault such as being under a lot of pressure at work or feeling under the weather. He woos you until you feel safe and loved again, and then, in a little while, he turns on you once more. You never know from one day to the next where you stand with him.
With all that going on, it would seem obvious to anyone on the outside looking in, that this guy is dangerous. But you don’t know what to think. Your confidence in your own judgment has been worn down.
You are in a bad relationship but it’s not bad all the time by any means. When it’s good, it’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced, and when it’s bad, you wonder what you can do to make it good again.
But it’s really not about you and what you’re doing wrong to upset him, it’s about him. And there’s nothing you can do other than walk away to put this right. These guys have women hooked and wasting years of their lives trying to keep the highs of the relationship going and avoid the downs.
If you recognize a lot of these signs, get out now before your confidence is worn down to nothing. Not all these relationships turn violent, but they are all damaging to your peace of mind and mental health. Protect yourself.
Over to you: Have you ever experienced this kind of relationship or seen a friend go through this? Please share in the comments below.