If you notice your husband or boyfriend looking at and flirting with other women, it can leave you feeling very insecure and make you doubt his feelings towards you.
You might think it means you’re not quite enough for him, and reason that if he really loved you, he wouldn’t need to look elsewhere, much less flirt around.
How much of what he’s doing is really flirting and how much is your insecurity?
Be honest now, do you never flirt with anyone at all since you got together? Is it possible that you’re just as friendly as he is, but you have a bit of a double standard in how you’re judging him?
Maybe he’s not being flirty, maybe he’s more of a sociable type, who has no trouble smiling at people and chatting to strangers. Some guys just like to charm the world, and it means nothing other than that they have an open, friendly personality.
These guys are generally fun to be with. Enjoy the positive, charming side of him and learn to accept his personality for what it is, as long as he still makes you feel special whether you’re alone or out and about and that you’re not just one of a crowd of people he gets on well with. It should be obvious to anyone he flirts with that you and he are together and that he’s not hitting on them.
If he’s equally friendly with men and women, if he’s generally polite and smiles easily, and if he’s chatty with pretty much any woman, not just the beautiful ones, relax, you’ve probably got nothing to worry about.
If it’s mainly attractive women he uses his charm on, it could be that flirting with women has become such a habit, he doesn’t even know he’s still doing it, now that he’s with you.
Work out if it’s just a habit he’s not even aware of or if he’s actively looking to cheat on you. If he really wants to consciously flirt and attract women, he’ll be taking numbers and may touch them as well as chat to them during the conversation not just in greeting. He may leave you alone (even if he knows you’re upset) while he flirts or hide his behavior once he knows you’ve spotted him up to his tricks.
If you think he’s looking to cheat, that’s a much bigger problem to deal with than his mere flirting. It’s time to reassess your relationship and talk seriously about what’s going on.
But if it’s just his flirting with attractive women that gets to you, it’s still important not to brush the problem under the carpet and let the issue eat away at you.
Rather than giving him a hard time when you notice him flirting, wait for a neutral time and tell him honestly how it makes you feel when he’s being overly friendly or flirtatious.
You can reassure him that you don’t want to be that jealous, overbearing girlfriend who never allows her man to even look at another woman, but let him know that his behavior bothers you by making you feel like he doesn’t respect you, that you’re not good enough or that he’s not being honest with you about his feelings.
If he cares, he’ll try to change his behavior, although if it’s something he does unconsciously, it could still take some time before he completely breaks the habit. Once you’ve had the initial serious chat, you could mention it in a teasing way every time you catch him flirting, so he knows you noticed, and it will help him squash the habit without you coming over as an insecure nag.
Over to you: Have you had this experience with a guy who flirts with other women? What did you do about it? Please share in the comments below