In the previous three steps (you can see them here), we saw how you need the same qualities to create a great relationship whether you are still looking for love or already have a relationship you would like to make into a great one.
This step is no different.
It’s about something that you can never have enough of when you’re talking about love and romantic relationships and that’s kindness.
And I don’t mean just being kind to your man (or potential love interest) but being the type of person who is kind and thoughtful with those all around.
How does this help?
If you’re not yet in a relationship, being kind means engaging with people in a thoughtful way, being friendly and open. It means that you don’t go through life scowling, snarling and impatient with everyone or completely rudely ignoring everyone else while you check out your friends’ Facebook updates on your phone. It means being willing to do favors and help friends and others in need. It means thinking about how you treat people.
If you think about it, don’t you find friendly, kind people more attractive than the scowlers? I thought so!
And don’t think for one minute you can be a scowler with those all around you and then turn on the charm when Mr Right comes into view. By the time you have spotted him, he has probably noticed you snarling with impatience at the old lady who is taking too long to pay for her groceries, or not given you a second thought because you have such a miserable look on your face.
Kind and friendly people are more likely to have friends that help them meet someone too. They are the kind of people who others are willing to introduce to potential dates they know.
If you’re already in a relationship, being kind means thinking about what your partner would like and doing it (if you can) to make him happy. It means thinking before you tear him off a strip or give him a hard time after he’s had a bad day at work or his team lost. It means treating him with respect and letting him know he makes you happy and that you appreciate him for the man he is.
Being kind means not saying those things you shouldn’t (see 23 Things NOT To Say To Your Man). If there’s conflict (and there is in all relationships), it means talking about the issues and what you want and not attacking the person.
As for being kind to others, who wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with a kind person as opposed to someone who is always bitching about everyone and everything, and/or is rude and impatient. That gets old fast.
Chances are you don’t think of yourself as being unkind (who does?) But there’s no harm in trying to be kinder to those around you anyway. Hold back on the griping, and sarcasm and nagging and all kinds of relationships in your life will improve, not just your love life.
Over to you: Do you think kindness is underrated these days? How have you noticed a lack of kindness showing up in your experience? Would you want to date or marry a bitch? Please share in the comments below.
I agree. Kindness is a very important part to any relationship…. romantic or otherwise. Well written post 🙂
Leo recently posted…The Sadhya
Thanks Leo 🙂
Ana recently posted…A Perfect Wedding?
Some good tips here. Kindness is one of the most attractive qualities. nicely put. Dropping by from UBC.
Suzy recently posted…UBC Jul 4 – Through The Darkness
Thanks Suzy. good luck with your July challenge. I started in April and haven’t stopped – so far 🙂
Ana recently posted…Afraid Of Being Single?
Kindness is definitely an important trait. Just this morning I decided to take up a cup of coffee to my husband while he was struggling to wake up. I knew he needed to get up to leave for work, and it made sense since I was making myself a cuppa anyway. I also know how much I appreciate it when he does it for me.
Alexandria Ingham recently posted…What a Bad Freelance Blogger Does to Your Business
Some of the simplest gestures are the most important when it comes to kindness. Thanks for sharing this great example Alexandria.
Ana recently posted…Top Ten Terrible Reasons to Get Married
Interesting insights on relationships. Indeed, a little kindness and actively taking an interest in people or your partner goes a long way.
Thanks Jodi. It all helps to make the world a better place too.
Ana recently posted…21 Things You Must Know Before Buying An Engagement Ring
I do agree with you Jodi.Kindness is loving people more than they deserve.
I like that idea of kindness. I also believe love and kindness can lead people to being more deserving of them. Thanks for your comment.
Ana recently posted…Celebrate International Kissing Day
Ana, first of all, I love how your website is set up – the visuals are so welcoming!
As far as kindness goes, no no no – not overrated at all. I do think, however, that kindness isn’t enough. I was in a relationship with a very kind man. Kindness incarnate, everyone would tell you. But behind the scenes, his immobility was crippling to both of us. Super sweet guy, self-sabotager.
So I would say, look for someone who is kind to others but also kind to themselves.
Margit Crane ( recently posted…The Four Freedoms of ADHD, July 4 2014
Thank you for your comment Margit and great point about kindness working both ways. It’s very stifling if someone is so into you that they stop caring about their own wishes.
Ana recently posted…How To Know If He Loves You