But your relationship may be better than just good and healthy. Perhaps you have even more going for you that will keep you going strong forever.
How well does your relationship match up to the following seven healthy relationship characteristics of the icing-on-the-cake variety?
You Get Along With Each Other’s Family And Friends
When you are in it for the long term, you’re not just in a relationship with a man, but with his entire family, and he with yours. And you’ll probably be in the company of each other’s friends a lot too. It helps your relationship if you know his family and friends well and get along with them.
At the very least, he should not talk badly about your family and you should speak of his family with respect as well, and you should be happy for him to spend time with his friends even if they are not your favorite people on the planet.
You Understand Each Other’s History
In the early stages of a relationship, you are more interested in the present and getting to know each other. As things get more serious, you will talk about the future, but you can get a real understanding of someone by knowing about their past too.
By exploring his and your childhood over time with little snippets of information here and there you should be able to build up a good picture what makes each of you into who you are.
Past relationships are a tricky subject and it’s best not to get too embroiled in discussions about past loves, but you should have an idea about any relationships that have affected him deeply, so that you understand why he may react the way he does sometimes, and he should know enough about yours to have the same kind of understanding.
You Miss Him When You’re Apart
In good relationships you can get along quite well and live together without stress, looking after the kids, going to work, getting together in the evenings and weekends and so on. There’s no strife but there’s also not that extra something which means you can’t wait for him to get home again when he’s away on a trip or even when he’s been out all day.
When you’re apart, do you find yourself missing him? Does he tell you he’s thinking of you when you’re not together for a few days? Do you think of things you want to tell him when you see him later? It’s not that you can’t live without each other, you need to be independent too, but that you love to be together.
You Continue To Enjoy Celebrations
Do the days that were fun for you when you first started dating still have their magic? If your relationship is something special you should continue to look forward to celebrating anniversaries, birthdays, and other special occasions and events with your guy. You don’t need to succumb to Hallmark Holiday syndrome, but the level of enjoyment you get from such events is one measure of how much you appreciate your life together. If you care deeply, you never forget each other’s birthdays or your wedding anniversary.
(Writing this I can see that we don’t celebrate like we used to (though we never forget the important dates) so this is something I’m going to work on!)
You Can Read Each Other
While it’s never safe to assume what your partner is feeling, you do have some kind of understanding. There will be certain signs you recognize that mean your guy needs rescuing at a party, wants some time alone or is feeling amorous. And he will recognize the same kind of signals in you.
You’ll Have Your Own “Language”
In close romantic relationships, you’ll develop your own special terms of endearment and you’ll continue to use them often over the years. You might also have your own private expressions. It’s as if you develop your own mini-culture in your private world. The implication is that you are so tightly entwined that you created your own way of speaking.
My husband and I spent the first three years of marriage in Holland and had our first son there and we still use the odd Dutch expression while no one else here would have a clue what we mean.
You Play Together
They say that the couples who play together, stay together and there’s a lot of truth in that. While all relationships take some effort to make them work, the best relationships are, above all, fun.
In great relationships, you know how to joke around without hurting each other’s feelings. You can be spontaneous and even use humor to diffuse a tense or stressful situation. You enjoy taking part in light-hearted activities together like playing card or board games, or spending a day at the beach, zoo, or amusement park. And you have fun in bed too. Fun is great icing to have on your relationship cake.
Over to You: Does your relationship have that extra something? What will you do to make yours even more solid? Please share in the comments below.