Living Together Before Marriage

When I first met my husband we were post graduate students together in the same town but after six months our new careers took us to different places, and it took almost two years of long-distance hassle before we were together again.

At that point, we moved in together, then bought a house together, then married pretty soon after that and have never been apart since.

So my view of whether living together is a good idea is colored a bit by that. I think it’s a good idea and much better than living over a hundred miles apart! I like the idea of living with someone before tying the knot so that you can see how you rub along together when you’re not on your best behavior. My view is that you never really know someone until you live with them.

This infographic from shows a different view. But remember it’s only statistics. Every relationship is different!

Living Together May Not Lead To Marriage

Over to you: Do You think it’s a good idea to move in together before getting married? Please share in the comments below

4 Responses to “Living Together Before Marriage”

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  1. I think it largely depends on your intent in cohabitating; I’m not sure that your experience contradicts the CDC’s findings. You weren’t just “test driving” the relationship (to me, that’s a sign that one or both already have an eye on the exit door, anyway); you were keeping it from being a long-distance relationship (the odds of a long-distance relationship surviving over time are probably LOWER than for cohabitating couples). A ring is an outward and tangible sign of commitment, but I’d argue that buying a house together is an even bigger (and scarier!) one. (My husband and I were married 14 years before we worked up the nerve to buy a house.) Financial difficulties are still, I think, the number one cause of marital problems, so buying property together may test a relationship more than whether one partner leaves their dirty socks on the floor. And I think educational parity is a factor in any relationship’s ultimate success; the value we place on education, the life experiences we share or can relate to – these things are all more important than whether you live together before marriage.
    Holly Jahangiri recently posted…Interview with Artist Todd Kruse

    • Ana says:

      All excellent points. Many thanks for sharing Holly. We don’t even have separate bank accounts, just a joint one, which I believe is some kind of no-no in financial coupledom LOL Dirty socks I have to live with though – multiples of them with hubby and two boys. We do have joint values though just not about socks (or football).
      Ana recently posted…Top Ten Terrible Reasons to Get Married

  2. They’re leaving out the cultural difference between the 1960s and today. Statistics can be manipulated so easily. My father was a statistician and when I was writing a paper for school I’d ask him how to present a statistic (like should I use “1 in 4” “25%” or ‘1/4″) to make it sound more impressive. Certainly a color-coordinated infographic makes me want to believe anything!
    Margit Crane ( recently posted…3 Tips for those I QUIT Days!

    • Ana says:

      I agree, you can probably use statistics to back up any view you have, no matter what it is and politicians and fanatics frequently do. I need to learn how to create these infographics for myself then I can spread some interesting statistics around too 🙂 Thanks for sharing Margit 🙂
      Ana recently posted…Afraid Of Being Single?

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