If you want great sex, it’s well worth making a bit of effort to spruce up your bedroom so you have a place where you and your lover feel comfortable and at ease, especially as most changes are relatively easy to make, requiring only a bit of creativity and a dash of enthusiasm.
I see the bedroom as the most important room in the house. So much so, it was the first room we did when we moved into our old house – I couldn’t live with the dreadful decor as it was. Everywhere else okay, but in the bedroom, no way.
Here are some of the things to think about when you’re making plans for your bedroom love nest:
Solid white walls are not going to create a romantic mood. If you don’t want to repaint all your walls, consider adding a border along top of the wall or some wall transfers. If you are happy to paint the walls, avoid loud, clashing colors and choose something soft. Pink tones are great for giving your naked skin a rosy glow. Just don’t make the walls too pink – you want your man to feel comfortable in there.
Decide on a theme or color scheme that you’ll stick to and don’t create a clashing mix of bits and pieces that you add to the room whenever the mood strikes. That way, if you do add decor, change bedding, or a floor rug, you are keeping with the overall color of the room and it will feel less cluttered.
Less is more when it comes to wall art. Don’t go overboard, but it’s nice to add some interest to bare walls with a few carefully chosen framed prints or paintings.
If you have images of people or animals take care with the positioning. No one likes to feel they are being watched in the act by the eyes in a picture.
Worse still, avoid photos of your kids or relatives. There’s something unsettling about having your children or parents “in the room” if you want to create a romantic atmosphere. Those photos go well in the hall or living room, but really have no place in a love nest.
Being able to see yourself having sex, may be a turn on or something you’d hate. This is a personal choice. Usually guys are big on visuals so they are in favor. If you’re not sure, don’t buy a huge mirror that can only go in one place and then regret it. A free-standing full length mirror can be moved depending on your mood!
Go for soft lighting which will set the mood for romance better than bright lights. A dimmer switch is great for getting the right light level. Alternatively, put several lamps around the room with weaker bulbs so you can select just one or two when the mood strikes. Candles or fairy lights work well to add just a touch of soft light to the room when you’re in the mood for romance without harsh lighting. Just make sure candles can’t be knocked over when things get a little wild.
You’ll need curtains for privacy and to keep out the early morning light if you want a good night’s sleep after a passionate late night. Curtains in light delicate fabrics give the room a soft romantic feel. Think about installing a blind as well to keep out the light if the sun shines through them too much.
No one looks forward to sleeping or making love in a bed when you know that the sheets are handed down from your parents and should have been recycled long ago. Invest in good quality matching bedding and go for a design without too many flounces, flowers and frills if you want your guy to feel at home. Of course, keeping your bedding clean is vital. Not only for hygiene with two people sharing a bed, but also because smells and stains do nothing for a romantic mood.
Choose big comfortable pillows with matching pillowslips. Stay away from cutesy pillows with childish themes or pictures and soft toys. Also, avoid any grandmotherly looking pillows with cross-stitching or corny sayings.
Add texture and comfort to your bed with fluffy blankets and throw rugs. It will make it really inviting during the winter months and you can put them away or switch to lighter items in summer, if you like.
Bed and Mattress
It’s vital that your room have a comfortable bed with a mattress that you want to sleep on. Making out on a bed that is too hard, too soft, lumpy, or squeaky might work once or twice, but it’s not a place you’ll want to keep coming back to for more.
If you have a comfortable bed that doesn’t squeak, you’ll want to get into it, you’ll want to have sex on it, and you’ll get a good night’s sleep as well. Make sure the bed is large enough for both of you and if you live with your guy, go shopping together for a mattress or bed to find something you’re both happy with when it’s time to buy a new bed or mattress.
Keep your bedroom at a comfortable temperature. That means keeping it cool during the warm months and warm during the cold ones. Ensure that you can open the windows, and that you air the room often. You don’t want the room to feel stuffy or get moldy.
During the summer months, you may have to invest in a stand-up fan or air conditioning to be comfortable, depending on where you live. You don’t want to feel so sweaty that you can’t stand to touch each other, much less get passionate.
On the flip side, you need to be warm enough in winter. Running into bed and shivering until the covers finally warm up won’t do much to put you in the mood. Women especially tend to have their mood affected if the temperature isn’t right.
For most women, having clutter around the room pretty much kills the mood. If you have to clear the bed of laundry before you can romp together, you’ll find the desire to initiate dimmed. And no one wants to be tripping over shoes on the way from the bathroom to the bed.
All that mess starts getting added to your “To Do” list and leads to feelings of resentment about why it always ends up with you having to deal with it. That’s enough to stop any kind of loving feeling.
Have a place where everything belongs and keep things tidy. Don’t allow wrappers, receipts, or little bits and pieces to collect on the dresser, nightstands, or window sill. If you clear it daily, mess never has a chance to take hold.
Above all, don’t make your bedroom a dumping ground for household items you can’t find a place for. This often starts when you have company and need to clear the more public rooms, and the bedroom seems like a handy place to put everything. Then the clutter never finds its way out again. Find another home for it all elsewhere in your home.
Work Free Zone
Keep all household cleaning stuff out of the bedroom. This is not the place to store the ironing board and vacuum cleaner unless they are well out of sight. Keep the bedroom as that special place you go to get away from the chores.
If you work at home, do not have your office or work area in your bedroom, if at all possible. It’s better to convert a part of the living room or even a corner of a hallway into your office space if you have a small house or flat. Having your office area in your room will only distract from the important role the bedroom has in connecting you with the man you love and getting a good sleep. Also, if you have hobbies or do crafts, etc. keep those out of the bedroom. It will add a cluttered look and you might find yourself distracted and occupied when you should be focusing on other pleasures.
TV And Phone
Keep the television outside the bedroom, period. You’re going to end up watching before going to bed, turning it off, and being far too tired or moody to get into a loving mood. Studies have shown that people who have a TV in the bedroom tend to stay up too long and have less intimate communication. Keep it in the den or living room, where it has a time and place. (See Better Sex: Get TV Out Of The Bedroom for more on this).
The same goes for mobile phones, laptops, and other media devices. You want to use your bedroom to sleep and get close to your lover. Don’t spoil that by bringing your connection to the outside world into the room. If you have to have your phone in your room as an alarm or for calls, make a point to keep it away from the bed and in a discreet place where you won’t tempted to keep looking at it.
A music player can help to relax and put you in the right mood for sex. Keep the music subdued and in the background, not drowning out conversation. It helps if you can agree on what you both consider relaxing and sensual music as different tastes abound and you should know what you have in common in order to both enjoy the experience.
A romantic room will stimulate all the senses, including the sense of smell. First of all, keep anything that doesn’t smell clean such as laundry or your gym bag well out of sight and smell range.
Then find a way to bring in a nice scent into the room without it being overpowering. Try scented candles, a bowl of potpourri, or lightly spraying the curtains with your favorite fragrance. (Just make sure it won’t mark them first). Freshly laundered sheets help too. One tip is to put perfume on unlit light bulbs; as they warm, the smell is released into the room.
Be careful not to overdo this idea. You don’t want to end up feeling stifled by fragrance and some people get headaches from strong scents.
Lock On The Door
Having a lock on the bedroom door will give you the sense of privacy that you need, especially if you have roommates or children, who are inclined to pay a visit. If you have condoms, toys or erotic novels that you want to hide away, a night stand drawer or door that locks is helpful too.
Don’t dress up the room to create a love nest and then fail to play your part! There’s a lot to be said for sleeping naked but, if not, you’ll need to put away any frumpy t-shirts, ankle-length nightgowns, or fleece pajamas and get out your sexiest lingerie, if you want to look like you’re ready for love. You’ll be surprised how much the mood of the room will change, if you also give yourself a bit of a make over and dress (or undress) for the occasion.
Over to you: Do you have any tips about making over your bedroom to create a haven for you and your guy? Please leave a comment below