Women are great at working themselves to the point of exhaustion.
We have our work that we value and wouldn’t want to give up. We have our kids that need to be loved and cared for. We have our home that we want to look good and standards to keep up as far as cleaning and tidying are concerned. We have the laundry. We have our friends and our social lives.
And last but not least (though sometimes it feels like it) we have our husbands to love and make time for.
Somewhere in all that we need to look good, exercise and make time for ourselves too. No wonder we’re frazzled, and sometimes bad tempered.
No wonder we feel resentful about all we have to do at times.
The problem is that any degree of festering resentment makes us less loving and, in the end, it can destroy a marriage.
Not overnight of course.
You may not be in any danger yet, but ongoing barbed comments, nagging and moods are sure to wear away loving feelings over time until you’re in danger of splitting up, especially if the resentment is not balanced with plenty of loving gestures and a healthy sex life.
You probably blame him for a lot your stress. You wouldn’t have so much to do if he did his fair share. You wouldn’t be a nagging wife if he hadn’t turned you into one.
But is it really his fault?
Modern life is stressful and busy, for sure. But you are the one who somehow took on responsibility for everything you have on your plate. You did that to yourself and so you are responsible for sorting it out.
You have to take action. You need to step back from some of what you are doing. See article What To Do Instead Of Nagging for help with the chore issue because conflict over chores is such a passion killer.
If your whole life is one mega-round of activity, it’s not healthy, and not just for your relationship and family. It’s not healthy for you.
You’re doing too much and you’re not giving yourself time to simply be.
You’re not giving yourself time to love.
You have become, as I once heard relationship coach Sheila Paxton say, a human doing instead of a human being.
Think about all the needless activity that has crept into your life that is making you more stressed than you need to be. Maybe you signed up your kids for endless activities. They need time to simply be too. Maybe you joined committees you don’t have time for or have taken on more work than you can possibly cope with.
Look at it this way, which of the activities you do today and that you’re not prepared to give up are as important to you as your marriage?
If you look at it that way I hope there are not many.
Over to you: Are you busy to the point of resentment at times? I know I was when the kids were young and until I started working from home. What is the solution for you? Please share in the comments below.