One Dating Tip We Can All Learn From

I came across an article online yesterday that has a hugely important message for those of us looking for love (and probably for those of us who have found it too).

Do you feel crumpled? Don't!If there’s one thing that can make a difference in all our lives, it’s confidence and a feeling that we are valuable just as we are.

There’s a huge army of people out there who want to see you improve yourself – everything from dietitians to fitness instructors to self help gurus.

Wanting to improve ourselves is a great idea, don’t get me wrong, but our motivation for that should not be because we are unacceptable as we are. It should be because we want to be the best we can be!

Here’s the dating tip article I found. As it has permission to reprint, I’ve added it in its entirety here. I loved the crumpled up money idea.

Avoid This Dating Error at All Costs!


By Nichole White

There’s one thing you must not ever do when dating. But before I tell you what it is, here’s a quick activity for you.

Take a large denomination bill out of your purse, say a $100 bill, or even a $50 or $20 if you have either of those. The biggest amount you have handy.

Now take this bill and crumple it up. Really crush it. Now drop it on the floor and step on it. Stomp on it if you’ve got some aggression to get off your chest.

Now, pick it up and smooth it out.

Does this bill still have value? Can you still go and spend it at a local store? Sure you can!

It’s a bit dirty, maybe a bit torn, and it’s feelings are probably hurt, but it’s perfectly good.

That’s you. No matter what you’ve been through, what others have said, or done, you still have immense value. You may have been bullied a bit in your own life, told you weren’t any good, or even abused, but you’re still important.

So why do I mention that? The worst mistake I’ve ever seen a woman commit when dating is devaluing herself and forgetting her worth. I hear this phrase a lot: “I don’t think I’m worthy of somebody good so I settle for whatever I can get.”

Devaluing yourself usually leads to desperation and settling for a guy who is in no way your equal or a good match. Sometimes it even leads to getting into a relationship with an abuser… either physical or emotional. A poor match often leads to a miserable existence for one or both partners involved.

How do you keep from devaluing yourself while dating?

Don’t be afraid to walk away. Ever heard the negotiation tip about not being so desperate that you can walk away from the table if need be? Dating is a negotiation of sorts and that advice works well.

In fact, not only do you have many choices other than the guys that treat you like crap, you have the ultimate trump card in your back pocket… you can also be with NOBODY and still be fine. It’s okay to be single. Ask the guys..being single can be A LOT of fun if you just let it.

Don’t take this so seriously. Yes, dating and marriage are serious because you could potentially end up with the wrong person and end up unhappy. But this is one of life’s many experiences and even if it doesn’t work out, it’s not the end of the world. You won’t die. And since you won’t die, you might as well have fun with this phase of life just as you would with any other.

Remember who you are.You’re a great woman who deserves a great man, nothing less. If someone has a problem with you being confident, yet choosy, that’s their problem, not yours. Your life is yours to live and no one will suffer from the consequences of bad choices but you. Make your OWN choices, not someone else’s.

Look for the man that respects you for your worth, and you’ll never make that dating error ever again.

About the Author: Nichole White, creator of the Detail Your Ideal Male concept, is a survivor of multiple poor relationships and one that led to a happy marriage. Detail Your Ideal Male shows you how to avoid moochers, cheaters, and abusers to make your relationships work for the long term. Is He Marriage Material: click here to download the tool that helps you decide whether to keep him or kick him to the curb! Follow us on Twitter at @DyimNichole and don’t forget to visit http://www.DetailYourIdealMale.com for more free insights, tools, tips and community!

 

Note from Ana: It’s no secret that I think this whole concept of valuing yourself is so important I’m writing a series of books on confidence, with three published so far and more to come. You can see them here, and you can currently get a free downloadable copy of “Rock Solid Confidence” with the purchase of either of the other books. Click on the book covers to see them on Amazon.com.

Three confidence books

Over to you: Do you value yourself enough? If you do, did you have to learn that the hard way, through experience? Please share in the comments below.

Image Credit: Dollar Photo Club

12 Responses to “One Dating Tip We Can All Learn From”

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  1. Scott says:

    This goes both ways, not just for women. “Look for the woman that respects you for your worth, and you’ll never make that dating error ever again.”
    Scott recently posted…Rotisserie Chicken Salad with Cherry Tea

  2. These are great tips for those who are dating! Thanks
    Debi recently posted…Tuna Cake Sandwiches

  3. Respect is the main thing, if there is no respect then that partner is not worth it! Good article.
    Miriam Slozberg recently posted…Three Tips for Writing Tweetable Blog Posts

  4. Honestly I think this applies to everyone in every aspect of your life. Never forget that you’re a worthwhile person!

  5. Bonnie Gean says:

    It’s funny how common sense gets tossed out the window when we’re talking about ourselves.

    If a friend asked for advice about dating, i wouldn’t hold back. I would tell her like it is… Yet, some people can’t give themselves the same solid advice. Why is that?

    Just give advice to your friend and use it for YOU too. Makes no difference that you’re giving it. If it’s good enough for your friend, it’s good enough for you to consider too. NEVER put yourself down.

    If you don’t love YOU how can you expect someone else to?
    Bonnie Gean recently posted…Benefits of Blogging – Building a Community

  6. Misty Spears says:

    This is a great article and rings so true. Years ago I would have just set there on the floor crumpled up and feeling that I had no value. It took me a long time to realize that a man doesn’t define me and certainly doesn’t give me my selfworth or value. Now I’m a little older and wiser, I can look back on it and see how silly that was and how I let myself live through that time feeling so horrible about myself. No woman should feel that way ever (or man).
    Misty Spears recently posted…Hemp Products 20 Percent off at Manitoba Harvest

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