Relationship Tip: What To Say On A Bad Day

Guys are notoriously bad at making us feel better when we’re having a bad day. They just don’t seem to get it.

Relationship tip: How to get what you need on a bad dayThe heel fell off your new shoe, you had a telling off at work and you got soaked because you missed the bus and they are no use at all. You may as well talk to the wall – at least the wall wouldn’t come back with a lot of useless advice or placatory remarks about things being not such a big deal or tell you that you’ll feel better tomorrow.

The trouble is that most guys just don’t know what to say when we give them a sob story. They want to say the right thing and so they try to help.

But it’s not really help we want, is it?

We don’t want to be told how to buy better shoes next time, how to handle our boss (or our job) or how to make sure we leave the office on time to catch the bus. We just want sympathy and a big hug.

So how would it be if instead of just telling your story and expecting him to say the right thing, you try a new tactic?

Don’t bother giving him all the nitty-gritty details that he will feel he needs to sort out with his problem-solving analytical brain. Just ask for what you really want.

How about “I’ve had a really bad day. This, this and this happened. I need a hug”? Or better still just “I’ve had an awful day. I need a hug.”

Your guy will then be only too happy to solve the “needing a hug” problem with his big arms, and both you and he will feel much better.

If you want to get all the details of your bad day off your chest, try your girlfriends. They are much more likely to give you the reaction you were looking for – and they will understand much better about the tragedy of the shoes that weren’t to be.

Over to you: What do you say on a bad day to get what you need from your guy? Or do you just go to your girlfriends? Please share in the comments below.

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12 Responses to “Relationship Tip: What To Say On A Bad Day”

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  1. Glad you shined light on this! I see this a lot with clients. Great 2 step insight. Having that awareness of first noticing for yourself what we actually want and then being okay asking for it instead of expecting our partner to guess and setting them up to fail. I like to say “Hun, I’m going to share a bit about my day and at the end I just want a big hug please.” Lovely! Great one Ana!
    Debbie Deupree recently posted…Staying open to possibilities

  2. I’ve often heard that men get it wrong by offering solutions when often all that is required is a hug, and I *love* this idea of a woman holding back with the details and asking for the hug instead!
    Great post!
    Cheers, Gordon
    The Great Gordino recently posted…Goal Achievement – The Road To Waterloo!

  3. Some good advise here most men can’t mind read and read between lines.
    Nayna Kanabar ( recently posted…Kheer ~ Indian rice pudding with Date compote and Lékué microwave rice and grain cooker giveaway

  4. Great advice! It’s all too easy to forget that men and women think and communicate differently. Thanks for sharing!
    Harriet Stack recently posted…History, culture and flashbacks in Melaka

  5. Nick says:

    I guess just be honest and everything should even out.
    Nick recently posted…06/04/2014 – The Allman Brothers-Gambler’s Roll (1990)

  6. Shaunna says:

    I have always tended to lean to my girlfriends 🙂 when I have had a bad day.

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