Guys are notoriously bad at making us feel better when we’re having a bad day. They just don’t seem to get it.
The heel fell off your new shoe, you had a telling off at work and you got soaked because you missed the bus and they are no use at all. You may as well talk to the wall – at least the wall wouldn’t come back with a lot of useless advice or placatory remarks about things being not such a big deal or tell you that you’ll feel better tomorrow.
The trouble is that most guys just don’t know what to say when we give them a sob story. They want to say the right thing and so they try to help.
But it’s not really help we want, is it?
We don’t want to be told how to buy better shoes next time, how to handle our boss (or our job) or how to make sure we leave the office on time to catch the bus. We just want sympathy and a big hug.
So how would it be if instead of just telling your story and expecting him to say the right thing, you try a new tactic?
Don’t bother giving him all the nitty-gritty details that he will feel he needs to sort out with his problem-solving analytical brain. Just ask for what you really want.
How about “I’ve had a really bad day. This, this and this happened. I need a hug”? Or better still just “I’ve had an awful day. I need a hug.”
Your guy will then be only too happy to solve the “needing a hug” problem with his big arms, and both you and he will feel much better.
If you want to get all the details of your bad day off your chest, try your girlfriends. They are much more likely to give you the reaction you were looking for – and they will understand much better about the tragedy of the shoes that weren’t to be.
Over to you: What do you say on a bad day to get what you need from your guy? Or do you just go to your girlfriends? Please share in the comments below.