In the days when you only met potential dates from the same town as you, who probably went to the same school and knew the same people, and had a similar background, you always had something in common with them. You never had to worry about shared interests.
Now that online dating and world wide travel are more prevalent, you may meet all kinds of people that you would never normally bump into and, if you’re single and looking for love, contemporary culture encourages you to find your “soul mate” among them.
People go about sifting through all those new possibilities in all kinds of ways. It seems that many guys initially select only for appearance or in the case of online dating, take one look at your profile picture and maybe age, before they decide whether or not they want to date you.
Women are often far pickier and look for as many interests as possible in common. They want to be understood by their partner, and if he has the same taste in books, movies, food, travel, politics and hobbies, and goodness knows what else, that can only be a good thing, right?
While it’s good to have a few things in common, theres no way you want someone who is so like you that you agree on everything. You may get excited that you have found your soul mate, but in a relationship, someone who shares all your opinions is more likely to be like your platonic best friend than an exciting lover.
It’s the differences that make the sparks fly, not the similarities. If you’re too much alike, chances are you will spend too much time together, have limited space to breathe, fail to introduce new ideas and people into the picture and all passion will disappear over time. It becomes too comfortable even to such an extent that it smothers you.
So what do you do?
They say that opposites attract but I wouldn’t go quite as far as trying to find someone who is completely different to you. You do want to feel that you share some things with your partner. Start looking for people that you share a couple of interests with but who also have a few interesting differences to explore, then let the sparks fly!
And if you’re already in a relationship that has become a bit stale and boring, where you almost know what your partner is going to say next before he says it, stir things up a bit.
Explore some new interests and make new friends that your partner does not share and get some of the spark back into your life together.
Over to you: How important do you think shared interests are in a relationship? Have you had a relationship fail because you were bored or found that opposites attract? Please share in the comments below.