If you like a guy, it’s easy to tell yourself things are fine and ignore what’s going on. You want so much for something good to come from your time together that you don’t want to know that all is not well.
But if you’re starting to suspect he’s not really into you, here are some very clear signs that he’s just stringing you along and not in it for the long haul. If any of these clues are uncomfortably close to the truth, it’s time to take a good long hard look at your relationship.
No Relationship Status
When he introduces you, are you still a “good friend”? Does he stutter or stammer when he’s forced to define who you are? If you’ve been going out for some time and he still doesn’t want to call you his girlfriend to his friends, you should start to get suspicious.
Note: Some guys prefer to keep their private life offline and don’t change their Facebook relationship status until they are just about married, but what he says about his relationship status with you in the real world truly counts and should show if he’s serious or not.
Not Comfortable Being Seen With You
If he’s happy about your relationship, he won’t mind being out in public with you. If he’s just stringing you along, he’ll suggest dates at home, meeting at places where you won’t be seen by people you know, or only meeting late at night after he’s seen his other friends. If you find he’s making excuses to avoid certain places or is never able to make it when you arranged to meet with friends, he’s stringing you along.
You Haven’t Met Each Other’s Families
Aside from not being seen with you in public, he finds ways to avoid meeting your family and introducing you to his. There’s no reason in his mind why he should introduce you to people close to him as he doesn’t see the relationship lasting. If you’ve been together with a man for an extended period of time and he still won’t introduce you to his family, warning lights should go off in your head.
Nice In Public, Mean In Private
If you get to meet his friends, it may be that he wants you as arm candy, but he isn’t all that into you. He likes treating you well when he’s being seen by others and will proudly present you to his friends, but will push you away and treat you poorly when you’re alone. Maybe he doesn’t have a problem saying that you’re his girlfriend; he might even act like he’s showing you off. He might be only too happy to be seen with you, but only because he wants everyone to know that he “owns” you. He’s not in it for the relationship if he doesn’t treat you the same when you’re alone as he does when he’s being watched.
Long Periods Of Absence
If he’s not seriously into you, he’ll only be around when he wants to be. You may not hear from him for a long period of time and suddenly he’ll be there to chat again. There is seldom a good explanation for where he’s been, he’s just busy. Because he thinks you’re just there for his needs, he’s not eager to explain himself logically and expects things to pretty much pick up where you left off.
Lies And Deceit
He may even tell lies to avoid having to explain his absences. As soon as you catch him lying to you, you should get ready to get out of the relationship. Unless he’s planning a big surprise for you, there is absolutely no reason why he should lie to you. He may find ways to deceive you about where he is and what he’s doing because he doesn’t want to be with you right then, or he may lie about dating other women. Whatever it is, it’s not good news.
Unfaithful, But Jealous
If you haven’t yet agreed to have an exclusive relationship, it’s understandable that he’s still dating other women. You might not like it, but at least, it’s not deceitful. However, in that case, you should be free to date other men. If he gets jealous when you date other men, he either needs to commit to a monogamous relationship with you or move on. Don’t let him string you along while he continues to play the field.
Attention To Keep You Hooked
A man who’s using you may be generous with attention only when it suits his purpose. Because of this, he might get lazy after some time, especially if you’re feeling close enough to him to give him attention without him having to put in much of an effort. But as soon as someone else starts to pay attention to you, he’ll suddenly start to go the extra mile again. He’s afraid of losing you. Even though you’re somewhat “disposable”, he wants to let you go only when he’s ready and will do what he needs to do to hold on to you until then.
Uncomfortable When You Try To Get Closer
He’ll find all kinds of ways to avoid any discussion about commitment and get uncomfortable when you try to get to know the real him – after all the real him is a bit of a shady character keeping you dangling on a string instead of being honest with you. Does he throw a question back at you or make a joke when you ask something personal instead of giving a straight answer? Does he find ways to get out of any kind of deep discussion, any talk about the future, or about you as a couple? He may be shy, but if some of the other signs are there, he’s more likely to be stringing you along.
It’s All Take And No Give
If you always have to be the one to adapt your schedule for him and make time when he says, he probably isn’t taking your relationship seriously. It will happen that couples have times when one partner has to make more sacrifices or adapt more. But there should also be a time when balance is restored in the relationship to accommodate the other. If he’s demanding you make all the adjustments, and he’s not flexible at all, it shows a lack of commitment.
He’s Content Just Having Sex
He might call you “friends with benefits” and be totally comfortable with that idea. If he’s using you just for sex, he might not even be that great as a friend. He won’t be there to hold your hand and let you vent as a friend would. Instead, he’s only there when he’s got the urge and you’re the best one around to fill it. If you’re fine with just having a sex buddy, then it’s all good. But if you want a relationship, a man who is only around when he wants sex isn’t the man for you.
He Treats You Great Only When It Leads To Sex
He might disappear for a few days or treat you badly when you’re together. Suddenly, he’s got a change of heart and goes all romantic on you. He gets you flowers, organizes a candle-lit dinner or offers you a massage. But his improved behavior is because he wants something from you. He sees getting sex from you as payment for the nice things he does for you, and you’re the best source he’s got until someone better comes along.
If there are clear signs that your guy is stringing you along, don’t wait to get hurt every time he treats you badly. You’re worth so much more than this. Take the initiative and give this guy the boot.
Over To You: Have you ever been in a relationship where you suspected your guy was stringing you along? How did you know? When did you break off with him? Please share in the comments below.