Getting an online dating profile up and putting yourself out there is quite a step for many us especially when new to online dating. But then there’s the question of when to take it down again!
When A Site Is Not Right For You
If you’ve been on a site for a while and you’ve given it a good chance (say a few months minimum) but you just don’t like how it operates or the kind of guys available, then you may as well cut your losses and take your profile off that site and try another one, especially if you are paying for the service.
Even with free sites, you will spend precious time checking and answering messages and so on and so you probably don’t want to spread yourself too thin. Having your profile on two or three sites at the most is plenty, so select the best and take down your profile from the others.
When You Need A Break
If you find yourself getting cynical about online dating and not having fun with it, it’s time to withdraw from the cyberworld for a while and give yourself a break. You have to go into dating online with a positive attitude because you’ll probably be both disappointed and rejected a least a few times, if not many times, before you find a relationship through it.
That’s not a problem if you’re feeling good about yourself, but if the knock backs are getting you down, then stop and give yourself a chance to meet men in the normal way. I know you joined online dating because it seemed like that was the easiest way, but there are plenty of places to meet men offline. Take a look at my book on Amazon with 182 places to meet men if you don’t believe me (well 181 because one of them is online dating!)
If you don’t want to delete your profile for good see if you can put it on pause. Some sites allow you to do that. If not, take a copy of what you wrote in case you want it put it up again.
When You Think You’ve Found Someone Special
And then there comes a time when you meet someone you want to get serious about. You might have been dating for a few weeks and you’re both at a place where you’re happy with the way the relationship is progressing.
Then it’s time to broach the subject with him. It’s the equivalent of having the “are you dating anyone else/are we exclusive?” type conversation.
You can say something like “I haven’t looked at my messages on match.com for ages. I was thinking of stopping my subscription. Have you stopped yours?” and then see if you’re both thinking the same way.
There isn’t really an across the board time frame you should be aiming for to get exclusive and take your profile down. In some cases, you’ll know the relationship is serious quite quickly and want to get exclusive, at other times, you might not be sure yet.
Take things slowly. You don’t have to be active on your profile all the time and respond to messages or accept dates. Just keep it up there (put it on pause if you can) until you’re sure the relationship is going somewhere and you’re both thinking long-term.
Don’t delete your profile when you think you’ve found “the one” without having the conversation. If the relationship was all in your own head and doesn’t work out the way you want it to, having to create a new profile to start dating again could draw out the moving on process and discourage you from starting again. However, if you have options to fall back on, you might find it easier to move on and get over whatever didn’t work out.
When You Have A “Forgotten” Profile
When you do settle into a longer relationship, please remember to take down your online dating profile. Many sites have thousands of profiles that aren’t active anymore, making it frustrating for people who are new to the site trying to find active profiles.
You also won’t want that forgotten profile to get in the way of your relationship. If he found out you were still on a site, he might think you were not serious about your relationship, because you still have a back door open, even though it’s just a profile you forgot to take down.
Over to you: Have you been successful with online dating? When did you decide to take your profile down? Please share in the comments below