When I came across this article on the ten worst pieces of dating advice, I had to read it, just in case I’d given any of that bad advice!
But actually all advice from me or anyone else needs to be tailored to suit your own circumstances and therefore sprinkled with a large dose of experience and common sense.
If you’re fourteen years old, you might absorb advice like a sponge and believe everything you read, but there’s no excuse if you’ve been around the block a bit.
Anyway, here are the pieces of advice the writer of that article thinks you should ignore.
Be A Jerk Because Women Like Bad Boys
Good, we agree there. I would never advise anyone to be a jerk or to like anyone so ridiculous, and especially not someone who was pretending to be ridiculous. Now I’m wondering, who gives advice like this? Maybe the writer means all those silly seduction products targeted at men. There’s plenty of bad advice in them about manipulation and game playing for sure.
When You Stop Looking For Love, You’ll Find It
Having written a book called “182 Best Places To Meet Men” all about going to the right places to find the the one who is right for you, I have to say I am all in favor of giving fate a helping hand, so I agree to a certain extent with the writer that “stop looking” is bad advice.
But I also think you can be too focused on finding a partner and not enough in having the kind of life that he would want to share. And it’s important not to be so desperate that he runs a mile. In other words, have fun looking! Keep it light. Get a life too.
Keep A Man Waiting
That’s pure bad manners so I agree this is bad dating advice.
Don’t Mention You Have Kids Too Soon
You shouldn’t hide your kids in your online dating profile or when you date as they are such an important part of your life and not something to spring on someone after five dates. If it puts him off, so be it.
On the other hand, you need to protect your kids from predators and not expose them to guys who may harm them, so don’t mix your kids and your dating life at all until you are very sure of someone.
I’m not sure what the writer has against red. The right shade of red for your skin tone is a great color to wear on a date. It doesn’t mean you have to get something red if you don’t already have anything in your wardrobe. Any color you love is good. Just not all black, navy, gray or brown, please. You’re going on a date not attending a funeral or job interview.
Don’t Be Too Available
Any type of advice which advises game-playing is suspect, but if “don’t be too available” equates to having a life and not rescheduling just because he calls then I agree with that. Just don’t pretend to be too busy to take his calls, answer texts or date if you’re doing nothing more exciting than painting your toenails. Honesty at the beginning of a relationship is a good start for the future.
Three Day Call Rule
More game playing. Forget it. Call back when you feel like it. Just don’t stalk him.
Never Accept Last Minute Dates
I agree this is bad advice with one exception. If he calls and asks you to dinner that night or to go to a movie or concert or whatever, that’s fine. If you have no other plans, accept and enjoy it. However if he calls you late and just wants to come over to your place to hang out, you only have yourself to blame if you think he wants anything from you other than sex.
No Fireworks, No Second Date
Yes and no on this one. If you enjoyed his company, and, though there are no actually fireworks, there’s something you like about him, why not date him a few times and see if he grows on you? Chemistry often happens over time as you get to know someone. You can always bow out if you’re not feeling anything a few dates down the line.
On the other hand if you’re pretty sure that you’re always going to find him unattractive or you didn’t like his personality one little bit, chemistry is never going to happen, so you may as well forget the second date.
Wait until Date Three For Sex
Ridiculous advice, I agree. There’s no arbitrary number that is correct. Though I do think first date sex is not a good idea for most women looking for a long term relationship, I don’t think there’s any particular number of dates when it becomes the right thing to do for everyone. Do whatever seems right to you.
Over to you: Are these the worst dating tips ever, or have you heard worse advice? Have you tried to follow any of those guidebooks like “The Rules”? How did that work out for you? Please share in the comments below.