Loving someone is a good thing, right? So, is “I love you” ever the wrong thing to say to a guy?
Too right, it is! Here are 12 situations, when the words should never cross your lips.
When You Haven’t Known Him Long Enough
Until you truly know a man, warts and all, you can’t really love him. It’s pure infatuation until you see the real him. Unless you are aware of faults in him, and still love him, think twice before you say the words.
When You’re Not Sure He Loves You
If you say that you love him without knowing he loves you, you are putting him under pressure to reciprocate. You might even scare him off, if he is wary of commitment. Someone has to be first to say the words, that’s true. But it’s not the words that count, it’s how your guy acts around you. Does he put you first? Can you see that he loves you even if he’s not saying it.
When He Breaks Up With You
That’s not the time to say “But, I love you!” in a clinging, needy way. Get the hell out of there as soon as you can with your pride intact, and then have a good cry and wail about how much you love him into your pillow, diary, or best friend’s shoulder.
When You Break Up With Him
This is the classic “I love you, but” (in contrast to “But, I love you” in #3) Saying I love you but you’re not right for me, it’s not the right time, or whatever, is not letting the guy down gently. It’s being cruel and giving him false hope. Don’t do that.
Just Because He Says It To You
If a guy says he loves you but you’re not sure about him, don’t feel you have to reciprocate.
Many guys will try that line to get you into bed and they don’t really mean it. Others are infatuated and don’t really know you (see point #1). You can just smile and say “thank you but you don’t really know me yet” or “we don’t know each other yet. Just wait until you see me on a really bad day”.
If you’ve been going out with the guy and he acts as if he loves you and says it, but you don’t love him, then it’s time to think about the future of your relationship, and whether you’re stringing him along until someone better comes along. If he’s growing on you but you’re not there yet OK, but if you’re never going to love him, it’s high time you called it a day. You have to be honest about your feelings either way and not just say “I love you, too” to get off the hook for now.
Just Because He Gives You An Expensive Gift
We all like gifts, but you can’t be bought like that, can you? Please tell me you can’t!
The same is true, if he does something particularly nice for you. If you’re thinking “I love you because you did that for me”, don’t say it.
Love him because of who is (“he’s the kind of guy who is loving and giving to everyone”), not for what he does for you on one occasion.
He’s Mr Right Now
You’re fed up waiting for romance in your life. Mr Right doesn’t seem to be coming along, so you’ve decided you may as well make your romantic future with Mr Just Good Enough. This is bound to get messy when you change your mind and decide Mr Just Good Enough is not actually Good Enough for you.
When You’re About To Be Apart
If one of you is going away, don’t leave it until the last minute to say “I love you” for the first time. You don’t want to be left wondering about his reaction. Give him a chance to answer in normal circumstances, and don’t drop the words at the airport!
In The Heat Of Passion
Don’t confuse lust and great sex with love. They are not the same thing at all. It does no harm to say the words in bed with a long term partner, but don’t let the first time you say “I love you” be during sex.
When You’re Feeling Needy
Don’t say “I love you” when you really just want reassurance about whether he loves you back. It’s irritating. For the same reason, don’t keep repeating “I love you” over and over like a woman possessed. Once a day is nice. Every five minutes is creepy.
When You’ve Had Too Much To Drink
Drink can make you over-emotional. Chances are, you feel in love with the world at large, if you are that type of drunk. So it’s not the time to declare your affections for your guy for the first time especially as he may be feeling less than loving towards you in the state you’re in.
When You’re Not Sure
The most important reason and the one to remember above all others: Never say powerful words like “I love you” unless you truly mean them with all your heart.
YOUR TURN: Any other times when “I love you” is not appropriate? When did you first say it to your guy? Did you say it first? PLEASE SHARE IN THE COMMENTS BELOW