5 Steps To Connect More Deeply With Your Guy

The deeper you connect with the man in your life, the more you will feel a sense of harmony, love and respect in your relationship. A deep connection goes much further than being “in love”. It’s what makes a relationship last a life time and will take you through all kinds of ups and downs.

5 Steps To Connect More Deeply With Your GuyBeing connected can be a scary proposition, but it doesn’t mean that you have to lose yourself in the process.

It’s all about you as an individual with your own thoughts, feelings, beliefs and values understanding and taking into account (though not necessarily taking on board) your guy’s thoughts, feelings, beliefs and values. It’s knowing that he understands and takes your world into account too.

So how do you get that connection?



You have to talk about what matters to you. Not just everyday chat about what you’ll do on Friday night, how your day at work was, and whether the cat has been fed. Of course, you have to talk about those trivial things too, but make sure that you also talk about your dreams for the future, your thoughts about what is happening in the world – how you felt and not just what happened. This is all about being open with your partner and allowing him to know you more deeply.



Making someone feel heard is as important as being open. You have to actively listen, and if your man is opening up to you, be ready to receive and acknowledge his thoughts, feelings and dreams. The main thing is to stop what you are doing (if you can) and show you are listening whenever he is trying to tell you something. Make him feel that what he is saying is important to you.

Don’t interrupt and try to complete any thoughts as they come, even if he seems to be struggling to find the right words. It’s good to seek clarification though. This shows that you have heard and are actively trying to understand, “Do you mean that you feel…” or “It sounds like you were….Have I got that right?”



If your guy doesn’t share anything deeper than what he had for lunch, be ready to ask questions, but avoid the “What are you thinking?” question. For some reason the “What are you thinking” question always lands at a time when you weren’t thinking about anything very deep at all, and you have to say “nothing much” or feel you have to make something up, so you don’t sound vacant.

Instead, ask more specific things about his hopes for the future or feelings about a particular event (even something in the news) to draw out his thoughts.


Find The Connections

When you talk, look for the thoughts, feelings, beliefs and values you share, and point out the connections. “Oh, that’s exactly how I felt when…”, “I agree that…” or “Is that the way you feel too, when…” There’s no need to pretend any connections that are not there. If you are with the right person, there should be plenty of things you agree on. This is all about being open and honest.


Love The Differences

It would be pretty boring to be with someone who had exactly the same thoughts as you about everything. It would be like being in a relationship with yourself. The differences (as long as they are not critical) are what creates the spark, and keeps interest going over the years.

So, put your ego and need to be right aside, and be fascinated by what makes your other half tick, and why you are different. What is it that makes him think that way? Why do you think the way you do? Who or what have been the main influences on you both?

If your partner does not seem to give you the same benefit of understanding why you are different, it helps if you make sure you understand that yourself, and explain why you feel the way you do.

Deep love comes with empathy and understanding. By sharing and reaching out, in equal measure, you can keep love alive and kicking and prevent differences of opinion from damaging your relationship.

What About You? Have you got any tips about connecting deeply with the guy you love? Or is he reluctant to share his feelings? Please pop your thoughts below.

2 Responses to “5 Steps To Connect More Deeply With Your Guy”

Read below or add a comment...

  1. Michelle says:

    This is a good topic. It’s important to have that connection and important to recognize that it comes with work…it doesn’t just happen. Ana, I would love for you to link up at our Ladies Only Blog Share which will go live tonight…your posts would be perfect for our topic this week (No Kids Allowed). 🙂
    Michelle recently posted…Running Safety on the Roads

What Do You Think? Anything to Add?


CommentLuv badge