Not every date will be perfect. There will always be the one that got away, the evening you’d rather not think about, or the guy that made you cringe. However, there are times when you’re in the date and you’re not quite sure if this is going to be a bad one or not, and you may wonder whether to agree to a second date or whether he is likely to ask you.
Sometimes a date that starts out badly can recover and end up being a good one, but if it has one or more of these signs consistently during your time together, the first date will probably be the last date as well.
Lack Of Interest
If he’s more occupied with his phone, the menu, or what the neighboring table is ordering than he is in talking with you, chances are, things won’t work out. A good date means he wants to get to know you, and he’s putting everything else aside to be present. If he’s busy taking calls from work, responding to messages, or checking his social media, he’s not interested enough in you.
While there will be a lot of questions during the getting to know each other stage, it shouldn’t feel like a job interview or interrogation about your life. If he sounds like he’s pulling out a list of mental questions and shooting them out at you, it’s off-putting to say the least. Conversation should be two-sided, not just him asking you questions.
There’s also a limit to how personal questions should be on a first date. If he’s asking questions about your private life, intimate details of your past, or every detail on your parents and family, it’s too much. If you feel uncomfortable answering the questions he’s asking, don’t feel obliged to answer them.
On a first date, you’re still getting to know each other, finding out about what you both like, dislike, etc. Ideally, you shouldn’t run out of things to say. Even if there are quiet moments, they should be over quickly. If you find all your questions answered with monosyllabic responses, he’s either not interested or not interesting enough. A first date shouldn’t be the two of you sitting there in silence.
It’s to be expected that you both might be a bit nervous, but not to the point of being awkward or uncomfortable the whole date. Many first dates feature one or two signs of clumsiness, funny comments, or slightly shaking hands. But this should pass. If he’s overly nervous it could be that he feels guilty for going out with you. Maybe he’s not over his past relationship or is still in one. Maybe he’s been out of the dating scene for a long time. No matter what his situation, if he’s into you, he should relax at some point. A good date is one where you’re both having fun. If he doesn’t react to your attempts to help him relax, it doesn’t auger well for future dates.
Low On Compliments, High On Criticism
Did he notice the way you look? Are you having a hard time with the place he chose to meet? Are you both finding it difficult to come up with anything positive to say about the evening? Even if just one of you can’t come up with honest compliments, the date won’t go well. A first date should have that positive, happy element. If not, a follow up probably isn’t a a good idea.
Other People Come Into The Picture
A first date is not the time for him to tell you about all his other dates or that he’s still grieving over a previous relationship. Comparing this date to other dates or joking about how busy he’s been in his dating life is disrespectful. The same goes for friends suddenly turning up and insisting that you join them. A first date should be for you alone.
Avoiding Physical Contact
At some point in the date, there should be some physical contact. Even if it’s just touching or holding hands, or brushing past you. If he pulls back or is uncomfortable with you being in his physical space, or he walks or sits well apart from you, he’s not interested in you.
Lack Of Effort
If you find he hasn’t bothered to make an effort to look presentable and little thought has been put into where you’ll meet, it’s a sign that he isn’t particularly interested in you – or that he’s lazy. You may as well move on now to someone who can be bothered when he makes a date with someone!
If he makes an excuse to end the date quickly, then it goes without saying that the date is not going well. Of course, genuine emergencies do occur, but they are rare. Don’t expect him to contact you again, and then if he does you might be pleasantly surprised.
Over to you: Have you had a bad first date where you knew things were never going to work out? How did you know? Please share in the comments below.
Some really good advise here for newbies. to lookout for.
Nayna Kanabar ( recently posted…Tidbits from my pantry.
Thanks Nayna 🙂
Ana recently posted…9 Signs of a Bad First Date
hmmm.. good advice for the people going on a date
Thanks for your comment Tina
Ana recently posted…Living Together Before Marriage
Spot on! The post comes handy on what not to do on first date. As they say, first impression is last impression. If he acts weird like this, run away:)
vishalbheeroo recently posted…Guest post: Sexism by Tarusha Mittal
Yes if he acts weird on the first date things are probably not going to improve. Though initial nerves can affect how people behave, these should settle down at some point during th date. Thanks for your comment Vishal
Ana recently posted…Turn A Bad Day Into A Good One
So glad I don’t have to worry about this stuff anymore!
Jenn Alex Brockman recently posted…6 Tips For Food Leftover Storage
Dating isn’t easy for sure Jenn but it can be fun too I think. For those still dating it’s important to be positive about the experience. Thanks for your comment.
Ana recently posted…Top 11 Biggest Complaints Women Have About Online Dating
What a great list that everyone can learn from so that they are aware of whether the date is going badly or well. I cannot imagine dating again, but if I ever did, I know were to come look for some good advice!
Christi Johnson recently posted…On Being A Marketer Who Loves To Write – May The Two Of Me Continue To Meet!
Thanks for your comment Christi – you’ll find lots of advice on the blog about having a great long-term relationship or marriage too 🙂
Ana recently posted…Fourth Step To A Great Relationship
I knew my date wasnt interested when he kept walking in front of me instead of next to me he was so busy trying to find the bar he didnt bother engaging with me and than at the bar he kept avoiding eye contact it was rediculous… but the sex was great lol thx guy!Needless to say i never heard back but it didnt matter to me lol his personality was……..lets say special.
Yes a special kind of asshole lol hugs Ana x
Ana recently posted…Should You Use Mobile Dating Apps?