There’s some debate about whether having more sex actually makes you feel sexy more often, but, in my mind, there’s no doubt about it that it does.
From talking to women, it seems to me that the longer you go without sex, the less you think about it and the more accustomed you become to doing without. You end up feeling cut off from your sexual side. It just not part of your life any more.
You might very well be fulfilled in other ways: wrapped up in your career, your kids, your hobbies, your social life – even the latest soap on TV – but you need to leave room for the sexy you too, if you want to be alive to the whole human experience.
Get In The Mood
It’s a bit of a chicken and egg situation, if you have got out of the habit of having sex or feeling sexy. You probably want to feel in the mood before you have sex but once you have sex, you’ll realize what you were missing for so long by not being in the mood – not just the physical release but also the feeling of being close to your guy – and yes, those feelings of being a sexual being, not just an employee, a parent or a friend.
You just have to get over the idea of “not being in the mood” by feeling as sexy as you can, before you get anywhere near the bedroom.
Don’t wait for your guy to get you in the mood. If he’s in the mood and you’re not, you’re just going to feel pressured and sex will feel like a chore that has to be done, not a pleasure to get wrapped up in. That kind of sex is not going to get you in touch with your sexual self – it’s more likely to switch it off completely.
Instead, take charge of your own sexual feelings. If you don’t have a current partner, there’s no need to hold back on this because you don’t have anyone you want to have more sex with. The more sexy you feel, the more of an aura of sexuality you’ll put out and the more attractive you will be to potential partners.
So, make the effort to do those things that get you in touch with the sexy feeling buried inside you and keep doing them even if you are going through a period of abstinence for one reason or another. Think about what used to put you in the mood and do that – every day – until you feel sex oozing from every pore! This might be a simple as
- reading a sexy passage from an erotic romance – better still, get lost in a whole book. (See Get In The Mood With Erotic Books.)
- watching a movie that turns you on like a rom com or action adventure starring a celebrity who does it for you
- recalling a memory of a past hot session
- taking care of your appearance so that you feel sexually attractive and not like the blob who lives in sweats with unbrushed hair and no makeup
- wearing your sexiest lingerie under whatever you are wearing even if you are just going to work or grocery shopping. (Buy some new undies, if you don’t have any sexy lingerie!)
- going to a dance class or exercise session that puts you in touch with the physical you
- having a massage or caring for yourself by massaging in scented lotion after your bath or shower
- touching yourself and giving yourself an orgasm
Commit To Having Sex More Often
If you’ve got out of the habit but you’re quite happy to get back into it, make a date with your other half for sex on a regular basis. This might be anything from every day for a week or two, even just once a week, so you can get back into the habit.
Heat Up The Sex You Do Have
Spice up your sex life a bit so that you actually have fun once you make it to bed. hen the sex is great, you’ll want to do it more often. You can do this by simply trying new things instead of doing the same old “he does this, then you do this” routine. Try new positions, new techniques, new toys – or you could add a few sexy bedroom games into the mix.
