Should You Be Yourself On A First Date?

So the time has come for your first date. You’re excited and feeling good because you got asked out or he accepted your invitation for a drink. You’re looking forward to a nice evening out with someone you like and would like to get to know better.

be yourselfAt the same time, you might be feeling a bit nervous because you’re not quite sure what to expect and you know that both of you will be testing the waters to see whether a second date is on the cards.

The Case For “Good Behavior”

Even if he’s not for you, you don’t want him to reject you, so you’re likely to be on your best behavior and you’ll wear something that makes you look good (see What to Wear On A Date.)

You might be more polite and friendly than usual, maybe a little more upbeat than you are with your friends. But how far should you take this “good behavior”?

You might question if he will still like you if he knows how you are when relaxed, if he thinks your tastes are radically different from his – even weird, and if you don’t enjoy the same things.

As a result, you might tend to just go with the flow, agree to everything, and act like you like the same things just to keep things sweet.

You might just want every part of the date to go smoothly and so you don’t disagree or mention when you prefer something different.

But What happens, If Things Go Well?

Remember this isn’t just about a date going well or badly, this is about who you are.

It’s alright to make some compromises for the sake of having an enjoyable first date. You don’t want to start a full scale row about the state of the economy or the best and worst movies ever made, but don’t hold back too much of yourself.

The thing is, if you hit it off and want to keep going out and possibly start a longer relationship, you want to be authentic from day one, otherwise there’s no point.

If he doesn’t like the real you, it’s better to know that sooner rather than later, right? You want him to like you for who you are, not for someone you’re pretending to be.

In any case, how long will you be able to keep up the pretense? Once you get comfortable, you will eventually let your real self out.

Opinions Are Welcome

Rest assured, even if your tastes are different on some issues, that’s not always a bad thing. So you don’t like all the same movies, genre of books, or food; that’s life and you will find other things in common if you’re a good match.

Besides guys (at least the good ones) like a woman who has the confidence to know her own mind and have her own views. There’s nothing more boring than a “yes” woman.

On a side note, another important reason to be yourself is for your own safety. No one should ever feel pushed or pressured into doing anything they’re not comfortable with. If you’re too quick to agree to everything, you might find yourself in a situation where he tries to take advantage of your compliant nature. Be assertive enough to be taken seriously when you say “No” and be ready to get out of there if you’re feeling uncomfortable in any situation.

Differing opinions or tastes are fine. Make a joke about it and keep it light – it’s really not the end of the world. Relax and enjoy the things you do have in common.

Don’t Be Too “Out There”

Of course, that doesn’t mean you have to wear your heart on your sleeve or give your entire life history on your first date. Some common sense will tell you that there is a difference between expressing yourself and offering way too much information. A lot of things can be brought up gradually over time, giving you both time to get to know each other. It’s not the time to say you always wanted a big family and a dream wedding – or to talk about your medical history or your cousin on drugs.

What you want to avoid is agreeing on everything, even if it’s not your preference. “Oh, you like heavy metal, me too!” even though you prefer country music. While this is a bit of an extreme example, the point is to be honest about who you are.

It takes some courage to be yourself, to not put on any kind of act, or change who you are. You have to be willing to be slightly vulnerable, but in the end it’ll be worth it when the guy you’re with is enchanted by the real you and not some sham of a person.

Being true to yourself and having the courage to express your opinions is one of the things that make you attractive to guys. For more tips on attracting him and keeping his interest forever see our FREE How To Be Irresistible guide

What Do You Think? Anything to Add?


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