In the previous three steps (you can see them here), we saw how you need the same qualities to create a great relationship whether you are still looking for love or already have a relationship you would like to make into a great one.
This step is no different.
It’s about something that you can never have enough of when you’re talking about love and romantic relationships and that’s kindness.
And I don’t mean just being kind to your man (or potential love interest) but being the type of person who is kind and thoughtful with those all around.
How does this help?
If you’re not yet in a relationship, being kind means engaging with people in a thoughtful way, being friendly and open. It means that you don’t go through life scowling, snarling and impatient with everyone or completely rudely ignoring everyone else while you check out your friends’ Facebook updates on your phone. It means being willing to do favors and help friends and others in need. It means thinking about how you treat people.
If you think about it, don’t you find friendly, kind people more attractive than the scowlers? I thought so!
And don’t think for one minute you can be a scowler with those all around you and then turn on the charm when Mr Right comes into view. By the time you have spotted him, he has probably noticed you snarling with impatience at the old lady who is taking too long to pay for her groceries, or not given you a second thought because you have such a miserable look on your face.
Kind and friendly people are more likely to have friends that help them meet someone too. They are the kind of people who others are willing to introduce to potential dates they know.
If you’re already in a relationship, being kind means thinking about what your partner would like and doing it (if you can) to make him happy. It means thinking before you tear him off a strip or give him a hard time after he’s had a bad day at work or his team lost. It means treating him with respect and letting him know he makes you happy and that you appreciate him for the man he is.
Being kind means not saying those things you shouldn’t (see 23 Things NOT To Say To Your Man). If there’s conflict (and there is in all relationships), it means talking about the issues and what you want and not attacking the person.
As for being kind to others, who wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with a kind person as opposed to someone who is always bitching about everyone and everything, and/or is rude and impatient. That gets old fast.
Chances are you don’t think of yourself as being unkind (who does?) But there’s no harm in trying to be kinder to those around you anyway. Hold back on the griping, and sarcasm and nagging and all kinds of relationships in your life will improve, not just your love life.
Over to you: Do you think kindness is underrated these days? How have you noticed a lack of kindness showing up in your experience? Would you want to date or marry a bitch? Please share in the comments below.