How To Handle The First Kiss

We have already debated whether you should kiss on the first date, but what about the first kiss itself whenever it occurs? How should you handle that?

As usual, it depends on the situation, but the main thing that affects how you should handle the first kiss is whether you are ready to be kissed or not.

It’s possible you have no desire to kiss him. Maybe it’s your first date, maybe you’re not all that into him, or maybe you just don’t feel comfortable with him.

If you see him moving in for a kiss and you don’t want one, move your head to the side so that he kisses your cheek instead, or take a step back and create distance between you.

It’s important not to mislead him. If you don’t want to be kissed, and you want nothing more from the date, stop flirting and keep some distance between you.

If you’re just unsure and would like to see if you’ll get used to the idea, tell him you like him, you’re just not sure if you feel that way about him, or you’re not ready for that step, but you would like to see him again.

After you’ve given clear signals that you’re not interested, if he’s still trying to kiss you, you’ll have to tell him you’re not interested in him. If he’s pushy or demanding in any way, just go home – safest for you that way if he’s going to ignore your wishes.

If you’ve been looking forward to the kiss, you’ll be happy when he goes for it, or you might even make the first move yourself.

Try to relax. You’re not going to be graded and it’s rare that a man will be so turned off by a kiss that he breaks things off. (The only thing that might repel him is if your breath is less than fresh, so if you’re hoping to be kissed take care of that!) Once he kisses you just take a deep breath and relax. When you’re relaxed, you’re more likely to be yourself and kiss naturally. Just let it happen.

Once you’ve started the kiss, let it go for as long as feels natural. It does help to yield to the way he’s kissing and go with the flow. If you want to kiss him, but not too deeply at this stage, don’t open your mouth when kissing. That way he will take the hint that, though you want to kiss him, you don’t want his tongue in your mouth.

Once you’ve kissed, it’s natural to stay close to him. Stepping back signals a finality and can also let him know that it wasn’t what you wanted. If there’s no chemistry or you don’t think this will go anywhere, feel free to back away now. If it wasn’t all that great for you, chances are, it wasn’t all that great for him, either.

If you enjoyed the kiss, give him a kiss on the cheek or let him kiss you again before moving away. You don’t need to say much after a first kiss that you enjoyed. A smile and maybe a “hmmmmm” of approval is good. That’s enough to make it clear that you enjoyed it, without going overboard.

Usually, a first kiss is just that, a kiss. In most dating situations, that kiss won’t lead to more, though it sometimes does. Many people find that leaving it at that first kiss creates a build up which prepares you both for your next meeting. You can enjoy waiting for the next step and getting to know each other better before getting into more.

Over to you: How was the first kiss with your partner? Something to cherish? Have you had first kisses you would rather forget? Please share in the comments below.