What To Do If You Kiss Another Guy (But Didn’t Mean To)

An interesting little (or in this case big) conundrum, in a video I came across on YouTube this week from the Smitten girls Simone and Ariel.

What To Do If You Kiss Another Guy (But Didn't Mean To)What should you do if you get drunk and end up kissing another guy though you love the one already have?

A difficult question indeed! Should you be honest and tell your guy you slipped up and apologize for the error of your ways? Should you worry about what it means for your relationship? Should you always be honest, no matter how much it might hurt the other person?

The advice from Simone and Ariel is that there is no one right answer.

It may mean that the relationship needs to end because you have shown that you are not fully committed to it and have given yourself a ready-made excuse to end it.

But that’s not always the case.

Sometimes you get swept up in the moment and what you did, despite appearances to the contrary, has no bearing on the quality of your relationship.

It’s up to you to evaluate which of those options it is, and it’s a good idea to take a long hard look at your relationship and how it’s going, in any case, so you can take corrective action if need be.

  • Is there something missing from your relationship?
  • Are you still excited by your guy sexually?
  • Is he still attracted to you sexually?
  • Are you angry about something that you haven’t quite acknowledged? Were you “paying him back”?

If none of those things are a problem, and it was just a slip up, the girls advise not telling your guy. Avoid trying to put your guilt on his shoulders.

Wear your big girl pants and deal with what you did yourself. Repent and move on. It’s not fair that he has to carry around the image of you making out with someone else in his head forever more. It’s not worth telling him if it was not meaningful.

Keep an eye on things to make sure this remains a one-off incident that evaporates into history and that there’s no underlying dissatisfaction that continues to grow. If you start to sense that there is something lurking there, you may need to re-open the issue and deal with it then.

Here is the video if you would like to watch it.

Over to you: Do you think this is good advice? Please share in the comments below.

Image Credit: © Depositphotos.com/vladmoses

8 Responses to “What To Do If You Kiss Another Guy (But Didn’t Mean To)”

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  1. It’s a difficult problem. As you said, there’s no right answer. Of course, you should never have kissed someone on the spur of the moment.

  2. I think that relationships should be renegotiated on a regular basis so that both partners get what they need and there are no secrets.
    Michelle DeBerge recently posted…Top 3 Benefits of Meditation

  3. Unfortunately we all make mistakes and definitely it is the wrong thing to do but.. things do happen. If you are in a relationship with someone and are upfront and honest about the mistake you made… sure he will not like it, he may be upset for a while.. but if he values you and trusts you (especially now that you were honest about the mistake you made)… he will overlook it and even have more respect for you in the long run.
    Miriam Slozberg recently posted…Making the Most of Google Plus

    • Ana says:

      I would have said honesty was the best policy too Miriam but these girls are saying “Don’t tell” and not having been in that situation I’m not sure what I would do if it came to the crunch. I guess a lot depends on the guy too and whether he’s the forgiving type. I suppose it also depends on whether you would want to know if the shoe was on the other foot. What good would knowing do you? It’s all a bit of a nightmare I’d hate to get into.
      Ana recently posted…Top 10 Times Men Are More Likely To Cheat

  4. Misty Spears says:

    I have to say, I’ve never done this, however, if I did, I would have done one of two things based on how I felt about it.

    If I wanted to stay with my man and it truly was just a moment of weakness and I mean I REALLY want to stay and I love him and have nothing for this other person, I wouldn’t tell. I would beat myself up for awhile but like they said, why put negative thoughts in his head and images of you making out with someone.

    However…and this is just me…if I were to do something like that, in my heart I would feel there was a reason, even if that reason has nothing to do with the person I kissed. To me it would signal a problem with the relationship and it’s time to move on. If I’m willing to hurt the one I claim to love most in this world, maybe love isn’t what it is anymore. Maybe it’s comfort, maybe it’s habit, maybe it’s guilt. If this were the case, I would probably end it. I’d still probably not tell about the kiss simply for the fact that I wouldn’t want to hurt him unnecessarily.
    Misty Spears recently posted…Hemp Heart Side Effects

    • Ana says:

      Thanks for sharing Misty. The last time I heard this happening, it was definitely because of a problem in the relationship and my friend came back home and ended it right then with her live-in boyfriend. It was the catalyst that made her do something about a relationship she was becoming increasingly unsure of. So yes, there is probably always a reason, but a reason strong enough to end things without question, or just a warning sign that you need to shake things up a bit? That, I’m not so sure of as you.
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