In the first stages of a new relationship, it’s important not to rush things. Don’t judge where it’s going too soon. Get to know each other and give it time.
You will find many couples who will say that they knew they had found “the one” from the beginning, but studies show that this is rarely the case. It’s something we see in retrospect – not something you can possibly know when you are three dates in.
What you can tell in the early stages is whether you have a connection and enjoy each other’s company.
It doesn’t mean you have to agree on everything or share every interest. You might even argue a little, but if the relationship is doing well, you should be happy to talk about your lives with each other, and you will each be disclosing a little more about yourselves on each date. This is the getting to know you stage.
Then, after three months or so and about ten dates, you should have a fair idea if your relationship is going anywhere. Here are the signs
- You have stopped dating and wanting to date other people. You’ve both agreed to be exclusive.
- You introduce him as your boyfriend and he calls you his girlfriend to others.
- You can easily talk to each other and you don’t run out of things to say.
- You are relaxed in each other’s company. You don’t feel you have to put on an act or always be on your best behavior.
- You feel good about yourself when you’re with him.
- You have no worries about his personality or character. You’re not worried about what mood he’s going to be in or that you might set off a bad mood.
- You’re not doing all the work to keep the relationship going while he makes no effort. You each initiate contact, plan dates, and suggest outings.
- You have met each other’s friends more than once.
- When you suggest you might like to meet his family or go on vacation together, there’s no sign of panic or avoidance and you are equally happy to move the relationship forward in these ways when the opportunity arises.
- It’s too soon at this stage to commit to a whole future together but you’re happy with the idea that you might get to that stage in the future.
Over to you: What do you think is important for the three month stage in a relationship? Have you decided to call it a day around that mark in the past? What about relationships that went on to be long term, what were they like at three months? Please share in the comments below.