At some point during a first date, usually towards the end, there is usually an opportunity or possibility for a first kiss.
Although you can plenty of opinions around about what you should do on your first date, there’s no right or wrong answer when it comes to first date kissing, but there are pros and cons to it.
If you’d like to meet him again, the first date kiss will let him know that you like him. You’re giving him permission to get to know you better. You’re also seeing if he senses any chemistry between you. If you want more contact with him, and you see him moving in for a kiss, it’s a good sign that you’ll be meeting up again.
The Promise Of More To Come
By kissing you’re showing that you’re interested in getting more intimate with him at some point in the future if things work out. It lets him know that you’re not seeing him just as a friend, as someone to pass the time with or as a person whose company you enjoyed. If he wants to sleep with you (which he is probably hoping will happen as some point in the near future), a kiss can show that you are happy to get closer to him, even if you don’t want to get too close, too fast.
If it turns out that first kiss really doesn’t have much to it, you’re saving yourself a second or even third date before you find out that there isn’t really much chemistry. Maybe you enjoy his company, find him easy to talk to, and have a lot in common, but if the kiss doesn’t do anything for you, you may decide you don’t want to keep seeing him romantically.
You May Not Know Him Well Enough
When you’ve just met someone, it may be too early to tell whether you like him romantically or not. In many cases, guys can grow on you if you give yourself a chance to get to know them. Expecting chemistry too soon can kill any prospect of that. Not kissing him but being ready to meet again gives you both the promise of more potential further down the road.
Sending The Wrong Signals
There are those dates where the guy is looking for a one-night-stand and you are not. If you kiss him or allow yourself to be kissed on that first (and probably only) date, you could be sending a signal that you’re ready to go further. You have to see where the date is heading, what the man is like, and what he seems he expects from you first. If all he wants is a one-night stand, you’re probably better off not kissing him and giving him the impression you’re on the same path, unless that’s what you want too. If he really is interested in you, he’ll be alright with the arrangement and content to meet again and get to know you better.
Getting His Hopes Up
If you’re not sure you want to meet again, or don’t feel any chemistry, kissing him could get his hopes up that you’d be happy to meet again. Don’t lead him on by kissing him and then giving him the opportunity to get hurt or upset because you really don’t want to start anything else with him. Don’t give in out of pity or because you feel you need to kiss him because he paid for dinner. Let him know you had a nice time, but be clear on your feelings about further meetings.
Note from Ana: Seeing as I kissed my future husband on the dance floor before we even had a date, and then again as he made sure I got safely home, you can see which side of the debate I come down on. And it’s the side of doing whatever you feel like at the time 🙂
It’s up to you what you’re comfortable with and only you know how the date is going. Only you know what the chemistry is between you, and you are the only one who can decide whether to kiss or not to kiss (or in most cases, how to respond if he kisses you).
Over to you: Do you have an opinion on kissing on the first date? How soon did you kiss your current/latest partner? Please share in the comments below
I guess I come from a totally different point of view…
there’s no reason for a kiss on the first date. There’s
nothing wrong with waiting for awhile until you know
each other better. I’ve been to weddings where the first
kiss happened after they said, “I do.” Those are quite
passionate kisses. lol But it was a sweet and beautiful
thing to witness.
Susan recently posted…How to Plan a Family Staycation
Thanks for your comment Susan. I’m always interested to hear different points of view. I have never known anyone to wait until the wedding for the first kiss with the exception of marriages that the parents arranged and not the couple. So that is a first for me.
Ana recently posted…My Top Ten Marriage Tips
Well, I don’t know which side is better… or not…
I agree with the side of doing whatever you feel like at the time 🙂 – if there is no chemistry you don’t have to have a second date…
Thanks for your comment, Erzsebet. It does seem to be a good idea to see if there’s any chemistry before the kiss. It would all be so much easier if we could give these things time to develop, but everyone is in such a rush with everything!
Ana recently posted…Loving What Is
I’m probably old fashioned but I don’t think I’d “really kiss” on a first date. Maybe a peck on the cheek or even on the lips, but no lip locking. I think I’d want to go at least 2 or 3 dates into it before I gave over to the tongue action.
Misty Spears recently posted…Where is the Best Place to Buy Hemp Seeds?
Thanks for sharing Misty. Yes there are definitely different types of kissing, and I guess also different types of first date. There’s the type where you have never seen the guy before and kissing may seem too intimate, and another type where you have admired the guy and chatted to him as a fellow student for a couple of weeks, before you finally and inevitably get together for the rest of your life 😉
Ana recently posted…Why Smart Women Turn Off Men
I always seem to be the “downer” when I write something for your blog. 🙂 I never kiss on the first date because… well, you never know what the dude has! ROFL
Seriously! In this day and age, you could be dating someone with mono, AIDS or Herpes. Do you really want to take a chance with that first kiss? I sure as heck didn’t!
I know it’s a downer to think of such things, but it happens all the time!
Bonnie Gean recently posted…My Top 10 Favorite Blogs
Thanks for your comment Bonnie. Your comments always make me think. I love that. 🙂 It’s true that you can catch something from kissing though the risks are very small unless the person has obvious cuts or sores around their mouth. First date or fifth isn’t going to make much difference about that though so unless you’re going to live lie a nun it’s just another risk in life. I’m of the opinion that life is a risk from the day you’re born until the day you die, and you have to takes risks for anything worth having. People do much riskier things than kissing with their health all the time including drinking, driving, eating all the wrong things, crossing roads, leaving their house, living in hurricane and earthquake zones. The list is endless. Somehow we have to live a great life without paranoia creeping in, and sort out any disasters when they happen.
Ana recently posted…My Top Ten Marriage Tips
It’s been so long since I’ve had a first kiss, it’s fun to think about it again 🙂
Salma recently posted…Banana Ice Cream in Two Steps
And also fun to remind your guy about that first kiss. Play the “do you remember” when we first… and watch him smile at the memory. Thanks for your comment Salma.
Ana recently posted…5 Clear Signs You’re With The Wrong Guy