Passion Killer: Too Tired For Love

Sometimes sheer exhaustion sets in and all you want in bed is to close your eyes and shut out the world including him. We all have days like that when sex is the last thing we need.

too tired for loveBut if that is the case every night, and you are too tired for love all the time, you are putting your relationship in jeopardy. You need to work out why you are so exhausted that you never feel like sex, and then do something about it, because it is not healthy, any way you look at it.

There are many medical conditions that cause you to feel tired all the time, and if you suspect that there is something wrong, and especially if you have other symptoms, make sure you see your doctor. But there could be other things, like those below, contributing to your exhaustion and lack of sex drive. Be sure to tackle these too if you want your libido to return with a vengeance.


A New Baby

A new baby can be so overwhelming and leave you so sleep deprived that exhaustion is almost to be expected in the early months. Just make sure you are not making things worse and prioritizing everything before sleep and getting time with your partner.

Sad though it is, men can feel so shut out at this time that it is a danger point for infidelity in many relationships, so make sure you are giving your man plenty of attention and get him involved with the baby when he is around.

Go easy on the housework, forget cooking anything elaborate, get as much help as you can from family, friends and paid cleaning/meal delivery services – then grab as much sleep as you can, even if it means cat-napping during the day when the baby is asleep.

Eventually babies do sleep through the night. You just have to hang in there until they do and hope your man shows patience and understanding. Luckily, chances are he is pretty tired too.


Poor Nutrition

If you are eating poorly and not getting the right balance of vitamins and minerals, you can end up feeling jaded and worn out. Make sure you eat a healthy diet and take supplements if you think you are lacking any major nutrient. Your doctor can advise on this too.


Your Weight

If you are 40lbs overweight, it’s as if you are carrying a bag loaded with 40lbs of fat around with you all day. That can really sap your energy and the more you weigh, the worse it gets. Even ten extra pounds can weigh you down. It’s time to offload some of that baggage. You’ll feel better about your body too.


Too Much To Do, Too Little Time

We are all so busy these days. Life sometimes seems like a mad whirl of activity as you run from one appointment or obligation to the next. Why do we take on too much and do this to ourselves? It’s killing us, it’s killing our relationship and it’s not making us happy.

Really examine what you have taken on and cut out everything that isn’t essential.

At the moment, you think you are doing what is important to you. But do you know what you are saying is not important? Your own need for sleep and sex with your husband! Is that really true? I don’t think so and neither should you. It’s time to fix it!



Just as having too much do do can drain you of energy, too little is not great either. If you are bored with everything, and there is nothing to perk you up, you can end up tired with life rather than physically tired and could end up slipping into depression, if you’re not careful.

Get your thinking cap on and arrange some outings and activities that you enjoy. If your other half joins you in this, so much the better, but if not, don’t be afraid to do things alone. Either way, it may give your whole relationship a new lease of life and it will give you an energy boost.


Lack Of Exercise

Surprisingly, exercise gives you more energy rather than less, unless you overdo it. If you want to feel awake in the evening take a brisk walk with your man after dinner and see how much less sleepy you feel than on an evening parked in front of the TV. A walk is beneficial in other ways too – it will give you a chance to connect at the end of a busy day. If you have kids who are too young to stay home alone, take them with you. If you think a walk would not go down well, how about ice skating, swimming or bowling a couple of times a week? Beat boredom and get exercise in one fell swoop!



High stress may be the result of having a too busy lifestyle, but you can be busy without being stressed. Stress occurs because of the way you react to things that happen during the day and also if you tend to get anxious about potential issues that haven’t happened yet (and may never happen). You will be exhausted at the end of the day if your nervous system is constantly being over stimulated by tension, anxiety and doubt. Make sure you take some time each day to relax and unwind, and, to alleviate tiredness, learn some relaxation techniques to help you react more calmly to everyday pressures.



If you have a heavy meal in the evening, most of your energy will be diverted to your digestive system to deal with the overload. The more you eat, the drowsier you will feel. Plus you’ll have a bloated tummy that will make you think twice about getting naked later and you will not want to do much bouncing around either with a lot of food in your stomach. Eat a light meal for all those reasons and to stay slim too.



You might think that drinking a glass of wine or two in the evening would help to relax you after a hard day, and it’s true, it will. It lowers your inhibitions too and that can help make you feel sexier. So far so good.

The trouble with alcohol is that it makes you feel sleepy too and it’s not great for your health in any way, shape or form to drink too much. For those reasons, be sparing in how much you drink on a regular basis and learn to judge how much will relax you and how much will send you to sleep before you even make it to bed.


Not Getting To Bed Early Enough

If you are not getting enough sleep because you are not getting yourself to bed at a reasonable time when you have to get up early, then that is something that is easy to change. Whatever is keeping you up on TV or on your computer is not as important as getting a good night’s sleep, that’s for sure. Make it a habit to sleep 7 or 8 hours most nights and you’ll help yourself feel less tired all the time – and you’ll be more willing to have an even earlier night for some fun with your man.

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