When you ask yourself what guys want in a girl, you’re really not thinking about any old guys are you? You really want to know what the right guys want.
And so what does Mr Right want? It could be argued that there’s an easy answer to that question. Mr Right wants you, of course – if a guy is right for you then you wants you, exactly as you are – your looks, your personality, your flaws. Just like Bridget Jones and her Mark Darcy – he loves Bridget just the way she is – blue soup and all.
But real life bears only a faint resemblance to the movies.
You’re right, there are guys who will love you just the way you are, but you’re lucky if they match your idea of Mr Right.
If you want a Mr Right who’s confident, honest, independent, good-looking, and manly then you’ll have more choice if you are also confident, honest, independent, good-looking and feminine. Let’s face it, that kind of man is unlikely to be looking for a needy, dishonest mess.
Many women go about with a shopping list for what they want in a guy, but they forget that it’s a two way process. Falling in love is more like an exchange or barter system, than a regular transaction at the store.
There’s no point in changing your core personality for a man even if you could, but you can up your game a little, if you know you are not coming across as a woman to be reckoned with.
You can certainly work on your outer shell so that you look like the best version of yourself, but looks are not everything, though if you read too many women’s magazines you might be forgiven for thinking they are.
But no, it takes more than looks to attract the best guys – the Mr Rights of the world – the ones we’re all looking for. Looks help only with the initial attraction and getting him to notice your existence. After 5 minutes, you’re on your own.
If you want a great guy, you also need to make an effort to develop those inner traits that help make you more attractive as a long term partner. The good thing is that these things will also make you happier in yourself. It is always be worth working on your confidence, self-esteem and sense of independence, for example. You can bring out your flirty, feminine side. You can build the kind of life that you want, full of passion and interest.
The idea is that when a hot guy comes along – one that you not only find attractive but who also embodies all those qualities you’re looking for in a guy – he not only likes the look of you but he likes the look of your life, your world so much, he wants to be part of it.
So, do you have the kind of personal qualities and the kind of life that would make your ideal man sit up and take notice?
If not, work on yourself.
You’ve got nothing to lose in creating your ideal lifestyle – or at least working on it. You’ll never be perfect (but then neither will he.) Whether Mr Right comes along soon or not, you’ll reap the benefits and that has to be a good thing.
If you want to know what to work on first look at all the qualities you’d most like to see in a man. Apart from the masculine/feminine thing going on – if you look at purely human qualities, like attracts like. So if kindness is the most important thing, start there by looking at how kind you are. If feeling good about life is the most important, develop your own optimism and positive outlook. Work through all those qualities you wan to attract one by one.
That way, when the right guy comes along, you’ll be ready.
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