You know how it is. You’ve been with your guy a while. You know what he likes, and you keep giving it to him.
What’s wrong with that? Of course it makes sense to do what you know pleases him. He’s not going to be happy with someone who does things he doesn’t like, after all.
But the problem is that, if there are no surprises, then what pleases him initially can soon bore him to distraction.
For example, he says he loves your apple pie and then you start to cook it every night (that’s an exaggeration but let’s say every week). That apple pie is going to get a whole lot less special than it was the first few times you baked it…
And it’s the same not just what you have for dinner but also
Do you have the same conversations over and over, telling him about the same issues at work, the same people, the same complaints?
Do you trot out the same style in pants, skirts and blouses, even the same outfits, the same hairstyle and makeup, year after year?
Do you always do the same thing, with the light on or off, at the same time each week, in the same positions, with the same reactions – that is going to get old quickly!
Do you give him the same type of gift every year? Do you ever surprise him, when it’s not a special occasion?
Do you do the same things together, see the same people, watch the same TV shows, go to the same types of movies, read the same newspaper and same genres of books week after week?
Safe Is Not Safe Enough
It may seem safe but you are putting your relationship in grave danger if you do even half those things. You know what you like. You know what he likes. Routines are comfortable but oh so boring. And it’s not just you boring him. He will be boring to you too, if your life is this predictable.
You have to switch things up, and add a little excitement into your life, before you both get into such a rut, the only way to climb out is with someone else.
Luckily, this problem is pretty easy to resolve once you’re aware of it. It’s not that you have to do things he dislikes, just find out more things that he likes by trying new things! Not only will you safeguard your relationship, but your life will become a whole lot more interesting in general. So here goes with a few suggestions.
- cook a new recipe every week (extra points if it’s from another culture like Malaysian, Lebanese or Bulgarian!)
- read a different newspaper from the other side of the political spectrum and explore some different points of view
- start a weekly date night and do something different every week (see 108 ideas for date nights and “47 Summer Date Ideas” you can download after this quick quiz to find out your Ideal Summer Date)
- if you have kids, take them to some new places and try some different activities with them. If you don’t, pretend to be kids again
- take a new route to work and see what you come across
- shop in a different store/different town this weekend
- book a weekend to a place you’ve never been and save up for a trip to another country for your next vacation
- buy him a silly thoughtful gift – just because you want to
- ask your hairdresser for some new ideas for your hair or explore potential hairstyles on Pinterest
- take yourself to a makeup counter for a free makeover and see what they come up with
- buy a new outfit sexier than your usual style
- treat yourself to some sexy lingerie in a color he’s not used to seeing you in.
- suggest making love at a different time to the norm in a different room in your house (or somewhere else entirely)
- start a sexy bucket list.
- try a few sexy games to spice things up (see 77 Sexy Games For Two)
- give up apple pie and suggest chocolate body paint for dessert (recipe and suggestions for use here)
- if you keep seeing the same friends, don’t drop them but suggest you go somewhere different with them this week
OVER TO YOU: I’m sure you can add a lot more ways to switch things up and surprise him. What do you do to keep things fresh? PLEASE SHARE TIPS IN THE COMMENTS BELOW
Love it! Some of your ideas really makes me smile.. for sure he will love it! 🙂 Excited to try new ones that will excite both of us since we’re only 2 years married! 😀
Visiting you from the Happy Wives Club Link Up.
Mai Bateson recently posted…It’s Marriage Mondays Link-Up Party Time!
Thanks Mai – he’s probably not even remotely fed up with your apple pie yet but no harm in keeping things exciting 😉
First timer here. Thanks for sharing this. I am just so glad that my husband has very simple wants. As long as I make him good food occasionally, he is already very grateful. He is my bestfriend so we talk about many different things–even the mundane ones. He is also low-maintenance, so I am happy wife because then I wouldn’t have to be always on my toes to keep him happy. 😀
Sigrid recently posted…I Married Someone Who Trusts Me Completely
It’s a gift if you can just relax with someone because you know he will say if he is not happy about something (and even better if is is naturally happy). Thanks for sharing Sigrid.
I think it’s so much fun to mix things up just in life in general. It’s not only attractive to men because of the novelty factor of it, it’s also just fun for us. It creates freshness and excitement.
Rhiannon recently posted…Transformation Through Awareness
Yes, I agree, getting in a rut is no fun for us either. Thanks for your comment Rhiannon.
Surprising him with sexual advances in places outside of our usual areas (e.g. the bedroom) always shock him a little bit and get him excited. I love when that happens!
Fawn recently posted…7 Simple Tips to Writing the Perfect Love Note
Me too Fawn 😉 Thanks for sharing