In all the years we have been married, we have had some houses with TV in the bedroom and some not, but in the latest place (where we have been for the past 13 years) neither of us wanted to install a TV – and for very good reasons.
Of course, sometimes it was fun snuggling up in bed watching a movie, but it was more often a source of annoyance where one wanted to watch something and the other didn’t. Worse, what was happening on TV became the focal point of the bedroom, and we’d get lost in plots and characters instead of each other.
Nowadays, we often read in bed, but somehow a book never causes the same immediate and overriding distraction from what we could otherwise be doing. Sex is always more interesting than any book I or he ever read.
There are lots of other reasons to give up TV in the bedroom. Though you might have a bit of a fight on your hands if your partner is attached to it, ask him to try a little experiment for a few weeks and see how much better things are. Just make sure he enjoys his time off the TV and you will win the argument hands down!
If you need any further persuading here all the reasons to get the TV out.
Watching TV before bed may cause you to get less sleep because you stay viewing long after you would have otherwise nodded off. It’s just difficult to switch the damn thing off when something catches your attention, and with all the channels we have these days, there is always something! Get rid of the TV and the extra sleep you will get will put you in a better mood, give you more energy and make you less likely to argue next day – all positive factors for a relationship.
Watch out too if you are one of those who can’t get to sleep without the TV. It’s a bad habit to get into. It gives you poor sleep quality when you do sleep, as well as potentially causing problems for your poor partner who is more disturbed than soothed by having the TV on.
The TV destroys conversation and intimacy. Just try talking to him when a big game is on or he’s watching anything in fact. I know I have to get my husband away from the screen if I want to talk to him. If the screen is in your room constantly then you are missing 365 opportunities a year to get closer by talking cuddled up at night and another 365 in the morning (if you are morning people).
Stay Engaged With Each Other
Remember the TV puts you in passive zombie viewing mode – one where you invite strangers to play out their dramas or have their conversations in your bedroom. That kind of set up is never going to lead to any kind of intimacy, passion or romance. Focus on each other, not on a flickering screen.
Avoid Blocking Out Issues
Many people welcome TV as a way of zoning out and blocking out any issues going on in their lives, including those going in in their relationships. But avoiding issues will never get them fixed. By having the TV on until the moment you are going to sleep, little disagreements can turn into major difficulties and major difficulties will never get discussed.
My experience of less action in the bedroom when there’s a TV is borne out by a study of 523 couples by Italian sexologist Serenella Salomoni reported here. Her researchers found that those who have TV in the bedroom have sex half as often as those who don’t. The 8 times a month average went down to 4. For the over fifties the effect was even more marked with a 7 times a month average going down to 1.5. And that’s in Italy where there are far fewer channels to entice anyone away from more interesting pursuits.
What you think about last thing at night and first thing in the morning matters. Why brainwash yourself with whatever rubbish the TV networks put out? Use the space to quietly gather your own thoughts, or read a good book.
Be A Good Parent
Set a good example to your kids. Kids with TV in their rooms are more likely to have attention or sleep problems and perform less well in school.
You can make your bedroom more of an enticing, relaxing sanctuary if you don’t have an ugly box dominating a corner of it adding to clutter.
You will feel better without the visual reminders in the room of the difference between your body and that of the starlets and celebrities that adorn the screen just at the time when you take off your clothes. You also don’t have to compete with the often unrealistic portrayal of marriage, sex, family, love, romance etc that is often a feature of TV shows and movies.
Be Happier With Your Life
Without TV in your room, you will be less exposed to advertising when you are at your most vulnerable. Most of the adverts are aimed at making you feel miserable because you don’t have what the people in the ads have. Get rid of the TV and you’ll feel better about yourself and about your life.
If you can’t win the get rid of the TV argument, make sure you use it wisely and schedule your viewing of particular shows you both enjoy and then switch off rather than passively viewing whatever turns up.