Don’t Fall In Love Too Far Too Fast

If a guy makes your heart beat faster right from the first date, try to exercise a bit of caution before you start dreaming of your future together.

Don't Fall In Love Too Far Too FastYesterday we established that love at first sight does exist, but you can’t actually tell if the “love” that you’re experiencing will turn out to be the long-lasting kind or whether becoming better acquainted with your guy will wipe those loving feelings clean away.

So at the beginning of your relationship, you can be pleased you met him, look forward to seeing him again, and hope he turns out to be the one, but you can’t know for sure whether he will be the love of your life. You don’t even know whether you truly like him in the early stages. So don’t get carried away and fall in love too far too fast.

Reserve judgment about the possibility of a long-term relationship with him until you know him better. This may take several dates or even several months depending how much time you spend together and how open he is.

Just because he’s ringing your bell early on does not mean that you will like his character, his personality, his lifestyle or his attitude to various things that are important to you.

In fact, if you are falling for him fast, be extra careful, because we tend to put on rose-tinted spectacles when that happens and brush anything that would normally be a red flag right under the carpet.

If you detect something that makes you wonder, explore it and don’t just ignore it. The things that will cause a break up in the end are likely to be those things you ignored at the beginning.

Also be cautious if that “head over heels” feeling is not mutual. It’s just as likely to be one-sided. The surest way to be heart-broken in that kind of situation is to let your feelings rather than your head lead the way. You want him to like you as much as you like him, but you can’t make him love you. Make a lack of attention and obvious affection one of those red flags that mean you don’t set yourself up for disappointment in the future.

And what if all that caution was unnecessary and you have indeed found the love of your life? It doesn’t matter one jot. There’s no harm done in letting your love grow a little slower in the beginning. You’ll have many future years together to enjoy.

Over To You: Have you ever fallen for someone too fast and regretted it later? Please share in the comments below

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8 Responses to “Don’t Fall In Love Too Far Too Fast”

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  1. Ken Weliever says:

    Hi Ana
    Glad I happened to stumble upon your blog. Coming from a perspective of 45 years of marriage, as well as ministry, you have shared some valuable insights for young singles.
    Ken Weliever recently posted…Should Christians Refuse To Pay Taxes?

  2. I definitely believe in taking it slow. Get to know the person before emotions cloud your judgement. With every relationship that ended badly, the thing that caused the break-up was always something I noticed in the beginning but chose to ignore.
    Chido Muchemwa recently posted…Top Ten Tuesday: Top Ten Bookish Things (That Aren’t Books) That I’d Like To Own

    • Ana says:

      Thanks Chido. It’s so easy to ignore those doubts isn’t it? We find someone we like “enough” despite the red flags and we just want it to work. But settling for “enough” sometimes means we miss the one who would be truly right for us.
      Ana recently posted…How To Love Yourself More

  3. Sophie Bowns says:

    Hmmm… I’ll try to listen to my head! I hope I find love soon…….
    Sophie Bowns recently posted…No Sense

  4. Out One Ear says:

    Very wise advice. I was lucky. I did fall in love with my husband at first sight and knew he was the one. But we dated, broke up and got back together years later. We just celebrated our 32nd wedding anniversary. Taking it slow is the perfect solution–make sure you have the same values.
    Out One Ear recently posted…A Couple With Special Needs: In Sickness And In Health

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