Are you the kind of person who tends to end up in pointless, frustrating relationships over and over again? Do you fall in love rather quickly and then discover that it’s not going to work out? Do you feel like you just pick the wrong man again and again?
If this is the case for you, you may want to ask yourself if you’re afraid of being single.
If you can’t seem to find a man who can make you happy and your relationships keep ending on a sour note, maybe you’re rushing into things too quickly. When a woman feels pressure, for whatever reason, to avoid being alone, she will settle for the next best thing that comes around.
There are all sorts of reasons, social and emotional, why women are afraid of being alone.
- Maybe you feel pressure from girlfriends—they’ve all found their prince, why are you still alone?
- Or perhaps you really feel inadequate about handling yourself in the world. Maybe you’ve had a long-term relationship and are unsure of how to cope doing everything yourself. If there are children in the picture, the need to be with someone may be that much greater because you have so much responsibility to handle alone.
- Maybe you’re getting pressure from parents or relatives telling you to “settle down”.
- Perhaps you feel lonely and bored and would like someone to share your life
- Or maybe you just really don’t like the thought of being alone.
Many women believe they need a guy to make their life complete. But it is usually because they have not worked out that they can truly be complete themselves.
If you feel like that look at your own life, work on your confidence and take the time to find out who you are before worrying about finding a man.
A woman who feels pressure to be in a relationship will end up seeing things through rose-tinted glasses at first. She’s in a hurry to change her relationship status and will put up with just about anything, thinking that things might just get better. Or else, she tells herself, “at least I’m not alone”.
If you find yourself feeling discontent in many of your relationships, you might not yet really know what you’re looking for or you’re not defining it enough when you start dating.
You may have to kiss a fair amount of frogs before you find your prince, but that doesn’t mean you have to settle into a relationship with those frogs on the way.
It doesn’t feel good to have your friends comment on your single status and of course loneliness is not something anyone wants to go through. But then, neither is it wonderful to be constantly breaking up or settling for an unhappy relationship.
Consider letting yourself off the hook when it comes to the stress of looking for a guy. Be willing to take the time needed to find the man who you will bond with and who is worth your effort.
Stay occupied and busy. Find the things that interest you other than men. This can also help you discover who you are and what it is exactly you’re looking for.
Don’t rush into a relationship just so you can say you’re not single until you’re sure that it’s worth it. If you can overcome the fear of being alone, you can relax and enjoy your time of being single. Remember if you are in a relationship with Mr Wrong you leave no space for Mr Right when he does show up.
Remind yourself that you’re worth more. You do not need to give in to pressure from any avenue, you are free to go at your own pace when getting into a relationship. It’s worth the time you give yourself in order to make sure you’re not settling for less.
And if any relationship you’re getting into has any signs of abuse—verbal, emotional, or physical, get out fast. It’s far, far better to be alone than to be in that kind of relationship.
Over to you: Have you rushed into relationships just to avoid being single? Please share in the comments below
There is a lot of pressure to be in a relationship and have kids and do what everyone else is doing and for some people that is just not the right thing for them. If only we could remove that pressure and let everyone do what they are happy with. I am married but I do also love being alone at times ;).
Popping in from France via UBC 🙂
Rosie recently posted…25 Child Friendly Activities to do at Eco-Gites of Lenault
It would be better if everyone just got on with their own lives but we keep wanting everyone else to be happy too 🙂 I know what you mean about having time alone – I love it too and get up early to have the whole house to myself. As much as I love my husband, I need that space. Thanks for visiting and commenting Rosie
Ana recently posted…How To Lose A Good Man Without Cheating
This takes me back – will have to read some of your other posts on marriage……..
jina m recently posted…Sur Le Pont D’Avignon: Why Nursery Rhymes Matter.
Thanks for your comment Jina. The posts on marriage may be more applicable to your situation if it was a long time ago you were single 🙂
Ana recently posted…Third Step To A Great Relationship
Interesting…there is 1 more aspect that needs a mention..working on relationship. For a relationship to sustain – one needs to work on it to keep it alive. One factor that always wonders me is ” We only work out of relationships that allow up to walk out – For Eg Friendship & Martial relations
Relationship with parents, siblings – we accept they them as bonds for life.
Isnt it easier to accept a life partner’s relation as a Bond for life. If we start our relationship with a note of permanancy – we have better chances to make it survive
Viyoma recently posted…++++++++++++++++++++++ Plight of Earth +++++++++++++++++++++++
Thanks for your comment Viyoma. I completely agree that you need to make an effort to keep a relationship alive. I don’t think most people think of marriage as a temporary thing. It just seems to work out that way in 50% of cases. I suppose at the back of your mind is always the idea that there is a way out. And I do know families that are not bonded for life either, but it is true, their number is smaller than that of the divorced couples I know.
Ana recently posted…Divorce In America
I have posted my fears as a single person on my blog as response to Mandy Hales’ blogging challenge. But I also have shared my views on the pros of living a single life. 🙂 You’re right, getting into a relationship should not be rushed. Hope you can visit my blog as well.
http://baredmysoul.blogspot.com/2013/10/my-biggest-fear-as-single-person.html
Thanks for your comment Superlux. Visiting right after this.
Ana recently posted…How To Handle The First Kiss
I’m a guy and feel that relationships are over rated..ive been single forever and enjoying this face. But, looks like others are more worried for me than I am for myself..loove this post and it’s so true. At some point, we need our space:)
http://vishal-newkidontheblock.blogspot.com/2014/07/chapter-2-orkut-love-story.html
You can have a great life whatever your relationship status. I truly believe that but then as a mother I’d like to see my sons with someone who makes them happy. That’s mothers for you – full of contradiction LOL Thanks for sharing Vishal
Ana recently posted…Top Ten Worst Dating Tips
The thought of being single, especially after being married and having kids is a pretty scary thought.
Salma recently posted…3 Things Thursday – Week 14
Me too Salma, but better single than lonely in a marriage with the wrong person. Thanks for your comment.
Ana recently posted…Top Ten Terrible Reasons to Get Married